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It Started With a Kiss OST

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Got back all our promo results yesterday.. Was real horrible.. Deproved a lot.. Was really really upset n disappointed esp for my Geography.. I put in so much time n effort n yet my results were so horrible.. Even my economics which i didn't really prepare scored better... I hope i wld be promoted this time round.. Or else i really have no where to go le (out of e sch)..

Results are as follows:
Economics E
Geography F
CLA E

Haiz.. really nv scored so badly for my geog before lor.. So when i saw my results, my heart really sank to e bottom... Was trying really hard not to cry in e LT but when i saw Ms Tang come over, i knew i wld break down.. So i was praying real hard for her not to come over, or juz start lecturing me.. But she didn't (as expected...) Instead, she came over, hugged n comfort me.. Wa.. can't stand it le.. So i juz let my tears flow while i was in her arms... She encouraged me n said tt e improvement in grades comparing this yr n last yr were already a great step forward n e fact tt i cry for my results show tt i have put in alot of time n effort n tt she has seen it.. Therefore, she emphasized tt i muz not give up at this juncture..

This is really e very first time in my life tt i did not get scolded by my subject teacher cuz i got poor results for tt particular subject.. I feel tt Ms Tang really connects to us n understand our situation as students e best.. N i really really thank her for tt.. She is oso e only teacher tt openly shows her love n concern for her students in e sch (as in among all my class tutors lah...) She has her principles when it comes to hw, but care n concern for all of us nv fade de.. However, it is bcuz of all these tt made me feel e worst when i saw my bloody results for geog.. I feel tt i am such a disapointing student n so 对不起 her.. I haf 辜负her expectations n my own effort...

Besides Ms tang, i am thankful for xiaoying n lynette for being there for me.. Yup.. they r my best sisters!! ( though we seem to haf drifted abit, i still feel u gers r e best nonetheless..) Ms Tang told us to get away frm e sch n to give ourselves a break n we did juz tt after nana 平复her心情 (tt's another long story which i think i better not say)... We went to toa payoh to haf Swensens.. Initially only wanted to eat ice-cream, but in e end we had baked rice n earthquake n fries... Oops.. i forgot to mention who went.. Ok.. There's xiaoying, lynette, nana, eunice n me.. but nana only stayed 5 mins in Swensens cuz she meeing her mummy.. Then came xiaoying's supposed "boyfren" Ivan.. Another funny guy, tt mix well wif us.. Haha..
Yups... I had a wonderful time n really forgot abt my sad results for tt moment... Thx gers!! Lurve Ya lots!!

Well.. it was a different story when i went home.. Everybody was so quiet, doing their own things (my mum lock herself in e room n my bro stuck to e com) as usual.. N e funny thing was tt my bro warned me not to step on my mum's tail as she was in super bad mood.. Pls la.. since e translation thingy, she hasn't spoken or even looked at me in e eye la.. So why shld i be aware of her.. Chey!

Ok.. back to topic.. Since there was nth for me to do, i lied down on e floor in my room, in total darkness (lights wasn't on la), alone... Juz then, Mikado called.. Twice, in fact, but i didn't pick up, didn't call back nor msg.. (i juz switched on my hp when i reach home.. wanted some peace, tt's all) Then went to take a bath.. Spent a really long time.. But nobody cared.. Should say nobody notice even.. It was a huge surprise when i'm finally done.. Daddy was back.. Real early last nite, abt 7 plus or 8.. He bought food for my mum n bro n wanted me to share food wif my mum cuz she couldn't finish.. but i was too full liao..

Haiz.. I was exceptionally quiet last nite, but nobody noticed, n nobody cared.. I tried to say sth to her, but she treated me as invisible.. disappointed, i went back to my own room n decided tt i shld sleep instead.. Kai tian called.. she repeated 3 times tt Mikado had been looking for me.. Since wad time? I dunno n cldn't be bothered to ask last nite.. Then he called again.. I hesitated n reluctantly picked it up.. He said he was worried cuz he cldn't find me.. Haiz.. But i juz told him i needed some time alone.. He was kind n didn't probe further, n we ended e conversation..

Then tears started flowing.. For wad? I dunno.. Maybe my results, maybe for my insignificance to my family.. Even Mikado, my classmates n Ms Tang cared.. They r not my family, though i consider them to be of more importance than FAMILY.. N yet they showed their concern.. Where is my so called FAMILY then? Nobody, juz simply NOBODY noticed tt i was so quiet, so down n depressed.. Maybe bcuz i was in e room ba, but did they even care to peep into e room juz to make sure i was ok? NO!! I juz kept crying to myself n wishing so hard tt there wld be at least someone to give me a hug or lend me their shoulders.. Juz where r my family members when i needed them e most?? I really wld like to noe...

I couldn't rmb when i actually fell asleep, but i guess it's bcuz i'm tired of all tt crying n juz dozed off.. I practically juz cried myself to sleep last nite.. I think i cried really too much.. Was having such a sore throat when i woke up this morning.. Haiz.. This is getting long.. Think i shld stop here le ba..

PS:
I'm really grateful to those who stand by me n believed in me, giving me ur care n comfort when i needed u e most.. Thanx a million to Ms Tang, xiaoying n lynette.. Lurve Ya!!
N to Mikado.. I'm really very sorry to haf made u worried n apologise for my coldness towards u last nite..

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name: CoNnIe
age: 19
dob: 25/7/1987
horoscope: Leo
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Derrick's out of Superstar... ='(

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Where r u??

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