~ LoN3liHoOd ~

Home Alone!!!

2007-12-15T09:45:00.000+08:00

Yoyoyo!! It's been long since i last updated.. haha.. Hibernating once again.. Anyway, this time round i really home alone till 17 dec nite.. Cuz my family went genting n i can't go cuz i juz got back to jansen.. They almost wanted to take back my leave for e 21st too.. cuz my manager say she didn't noe abt it.. But i dun give a damn.. even if they dun give me i'm not going! I already told my partner cuz i'm damn pissed.. They also got a shock when they heard i'm still on probation.. Nvm, i'm going to see how long they still wan2 drag..

Anyway, today's e start of my home alone journey.. Dunno whether i'll get used to it.. But anyway i'm going out later to meet my jc classmates.. For once i joined them cuz previously i'm always bz or working.. Wonder how they've all been.. haiz.. How i missed those days when we mugged n slacked in sch.. I'll always rmb how we used to eat our time away whenever we have breaks.. Haha..

Ok, i dunno wad else to say le.. Bye bye..

Home alone- sick

2007-10-30T12:58:00.000+08:00

Yep yep.. I'm home alone right now.. Didn't go to work today cuz i'm sick.. yes i noe.. AGAIN.. Well, wad to do.. I guess i got the stomach flu virus frm e p1 kids.. Rong rong vomitted n was put in e office on fri.. But she's not e 1st case.. Think it started with bao bao whe he vomited n had fever.. Then next was ms ng's daughter qian qian.. Plus ms ng herself not feeling very well so e office was actually a high risk area..

Anyway, i happen to walk past e office when rong rong vomitted, so i helped to clean her up n bathe her.. Then was posted to p1 to hep out cuz lifang on half day leave.. So when all e p1 were done taking out diapers n toileting, i noticed vivian looked pretty weird.. Before i could ask her to e toilet, she puked right in front of me.. Best thing was my hands were soiled.. So i had to clear her as well as e mess.. I think ms ng oso kind of predicted someone was bound to vomit tt's y she put me to help liying.. Oh well.. Can only say i suay ba..

Then ytd i went to work super sleepy and sick. Sleepy cuz i didn't slp well at all.. Felt nauseous n my stomach was churning e whole nite.. Sick cuz i vomitted twice at home, but nth came out.. Then when i reached sch, ms ng bought quite a few cans of 100+ n ask me to drink, saying it can 止吐止泻.. So i took 1 can.. then as soon as i finished, i vomitted all e 100+ n e milo i had for breakfast.. N i continue to go to e toilet a few times but vomit nth cuz stomach already empty.. At lunch ms ng ask me go back n rest so i left sch w/o eating anything cuz got no appetite.. Somemore tt old hag cooked curry chicken wif more coconut than curry.

At first i tot i'll be able to rest, but realised tt i forgot my keys n was locked out.. Sat outside my hse for a good 3 hrs before my dad came back to open e door for me! Kaoz.. i already told my mum abt it but she can't be bothered at all.. Only e temple thingy she always go is impt.. N even my dad oso complained tt i was troublesome n only noe how to create more trouble for them.. As if i wanted myself to get sick n locked out of my own hse!! Didn't even care whether i was dying of illness or hunger! Luckily i ate 1 char siew bun when i went to get my bills paid.. Best part was my neighbour saw me sitting outside for a gd 3 hrs n didn't even offer to let me in.. Wad a kind n friendly neighbour man..

Anyway, after taking e medicine i took frm watson i concussed till my dad asked me to wake up for dinner. After tt took another pill n chatted wif my dear dear till i fell asleep. Actually i fell asleep even before we finished chatting.. =P But i guess he's already quite used to it le la.. I always fall asleep while chatting.. Well wad to do, i'm tired after class n his voice sounds like a lullaby to me.. Soothing enough to put me to slp.. Haha.. I wonder whether tt's good or bad..

Btw, I've told my boss i'd be taking leave for 20 n 21 dec.. She said shldn't be a problem cuz 20 is actually public holiday.. I noe i'm kiasu la but better be safe than sorry ma.. Who noes whether any1 wld juz pop up to snatch e days away.. But i'd haf to confirm again wif ms breeze cuz i'd be back in Jansen by then. Can't wait to be back there!! Okie dokey.. Tt's all for today.. Dunno when i'll haf e time to update again. Below r some pics we took when we went for lantern festival @ clarke quay.. Enjoy!

My 1st try with his camera!

Tt's Yue lao.

Well, he tries to take me, but i'm not co-operative as u can see..

Trying to act smart huh?!

Tt's me, trying to tempt my camera man wif food!

Ok, tt's us.. Trying to act cute..

I'm back!!

2007-10-28T11:32:00.000+08:00

Yo peeps!! I'm back from hibernating.. So so sorry.. I've been super duper bz with my life.. wif work n studies n of cuz another party in my life!! haha.. We've been tgt for... erm... coming 7 months.. ok.. i noe i'm forgetful.. But tt's e way i am.. u all noe rite? well he does too.. hehe.. ok shall stop here.. next time then update more ok??

dreaming

2007-03-13T22:36:00.000+08:00

Went out wif ly n lian on sunday.. met ly for movie first.. well oh well wasted his money n our time cuz he qing me watch.. :p Anyway, i enjoyed my time wif him cuz it's actually e 1st time i went out wif him alone though we already knew each other for 5 yrs.. initially very scared will be very awkward, but it turned out fine.. Very comfortable, n can juz be myself, very naturally..

很久没有向任何人撒娇了，即使在你们面前，我也总是很强悍。但在他面前，我可以很自然地时而赌气，时而撒娇。最起码，不会被他“酸”是在装可爱，也不会被他叫欧巴桑。多好！我甚至过分地把他想象成我一天的男朋友。我当然知道这一切是不可能的，但偶尔作个白日梦应该不会太过分吧！

乌鲁木齐小女人

心里面都是你
说出来没有关系
我爱听甜言蜜语
爱看你的表情

做什么都可以
没大餐也没关系
我只想在你的怀里
没什么原因心里全是你

就算我们在乌鲁木齐
每天在一起
没有距离
我的世界已充满活力

我只想做一个能让你幸福的小女人
每分每秒都能让我在你的面前
我只想做一个能让你快乐小女人
看着你醒来的每个早晨

rap: 我爱说甜言蜜语
看你的表情做什么都可以
没大餐没关系
只想把你抱在怀里
没什麽原因心里全是你

我们在这里这里是哪里
是在乌鲁木齐还是在你心里
每天在一起我们没有距离
下一秒我带你飞到皇家马德里

爱情=痛苦？

2007-03-09T19:44:00.000+08:00

最近又开始胡思乱想了。无独有偶，我又读了散文，而其文章里的词句亦道尽我心坎儿里。这几句对大家应该一点儿也不陌生。词句如下：

“渴望找到自己深爱的人，向往那种盘旋心底，缱卷缠绵的爱恋感觉；渴望遇上深爱自己的人，一个可以依赖，宠爱和照顾自己的男人。遗憾的是，这两个人，却往往不是同一个人。”

再者，我心里不知何故又飘起了一句奇怪的话：

“爱至深时方知痛，情到浓时才知苦。”

巧的是，几经拼凑之后，爱情似乎与痛苦画上等号。而让我百思不得其解的是，既然如此，为何还有那么多人选择自寻烦恼，自讨苦吃呢？

这观点可能有些悲观，但我又能如何？毕竟，这条路算是我至今最不顺的一条。

Happy New Year???

2007-02-25T19:45:00.000+08:00

yep yep.. i've started working n i'm now a full-time tcher in cherie hearts group of childcare centre, jansen branch.. Tiring, but fun nonetheless.. it's like sth i always wanted to do u see..

Had a mini gathering wif e usual ppl at my hse on e 3rd day.. We had steamboat wif loads of food!! hope all of u had fun.. Anyway, i e end only left justin, pf, bei , jie n my cousin at my hse.. We played black jack until sth like 2:30 am.. muahaha... n i muz say.. justin really REALLY shld stay further away frm this game!!!! even after being exempted from being e banker, he still can lose so much!! my god!! really take my hat off!!all of concluded this game is really his ke xing... haha!!

Then e nxt day my boss treated CL1 n CL2 ppl to a lunch buffet at Pariss!! Muahaha.. Nice food, nice atmo, but e price even nicer!! 50++ per head.. my gosh! but there's really a wide array of food for u to choose frm.. then went shopping wif them till 5+ then left my cousin, gao n i.. my cousin n i each bought a set of bra n a belt at taka.. of cuz, my cousin bought more than juz tt..

Anyway, all was fine till e 5th day of CNY when sch reopen.. My favourite ger, who oso hapens to be e most guai n sensible girl had an accident n it left her wif a deep wound under her chin.. 12 stitches, 6 in e wound n 6 on e skin.. I was so guilty n upset i cldn't control my tears n started crying once her parents rushed her to hospital.. juz hugged my senior tcher n cried.. Though aunty helen, tcher mary n everyone else keep telling me not to think abt it n not my fault, i still can't get over it, so much so tt it affected my mood, my appetite n everything else.. Totally cldn't concentrate n my mind was in a whirl.. esp later in e afternoon when her dad came back all worked up, frustrated, n everything else but nice.. Haiz..

Hope things will get better when she comes back to sch tml... Wad a Happy chinese new year....

新年新鲜事

2007-01-05T18:33:00.000+08:00

It's a new yr.. N yup, things have changed.. 毕业的，多数找了工作；没毕业的，都回到学校上课了。唯独我，仍旧得过且过地赖在家里当一只不折不扣的寄生虫。

最近有些不知从何而来的感触，牵动着我一天的情绪。为了不让任何人察觉，我只好重返舞台，进行我最拿手的戏码-伪装。这种戏码太久没搬上舞台了，最起码，在认识了白云岗的那群小孩以后。

前几天，这小家庭里起了一些小小的变化。而这，不知羡煞了多少仍旧在痴痴等待的旁人。像我这把年纪的欧巴桑也只能慨叹：“问世间情为何物啊？！”

抱怨完了，现在要献上我这微不足道的祝福啦！所谓十年修得同船渡，百年修得共枕眠。虽然也还没到那境界，但两情相悦就已经是很难得的缘分了。况且还饶了这么一圈。身为“家长”的我，只能奉劝两位，凡事要坦诚相待，珍惜眼前人。

VO: 哇靠！还真像个老人在碎碎念！！都不知一下子老了几岁！

永别了，2006。。。

2006-12-31T03:22:00.000+08:00

再过20小时20分就到元旦了。。这不仅仅代表2007年的到来，也代表着2006年将在大家为元旦到来时欢呼的那一刻画上休止符。至于完美与否，就因人而异了。对我而言，2007年代表着我生命的另一阶段--终于真正地高中毕业了。而这，也就代表着我与05A7B 的同学和云岗的死党将在精神上与物质上永远地分开了。。

永别了，2006。。。

home sweet home

2006-12-22T13:38:00.000+08:00

是的，我对这个家产生了厌倦与厌恶的心理。每天早晨，我最期待的不是看见家人，而是离开这个家，与朋友相聚的时间。我知道这是不正常也不健康的，但那又如何？对我而言，所谓的 home sweet home 只不过是句广告台词，一句缔造温馨家庭的假象，和没有半点真实感的台词。

这样的假象不只曹禺用过，连张艺谋也拿来用了。曹禺的运用，出现于其名著“雷雨”，而张艺谋则将它用于最新力作，“黄金甲”。“雷雨”的故事发生于30年代，而“黄金甲”则是于1000多年前中国最鼎盛的帝王主义-唐朝。两部作品围绕的都是家庭伦理与悲剧，而导致悲剧发生的导火线则来自各个成员间不可告人的秘密。总而言之，两部作品的年代虽不同，但所要表现的都是金玉其外，败絮其中的主题。

random thoughts

2006-12-20T15:08:00.000+08:00

Shall start wif genting trip.. As u all noe we went to genting.. Yes! e byg clique.. fun, but food poisoning on e last day spoilt e thing.. Like wad xiying says, thank god it happened on e last day.. otherwise e whole trip wld be ruined... Of cuz, we had lots of fun n laughter as well as lil hiccups here n there but on e whole it was fun n i think we are now much closer!! I think e food poisoning shld haf some credit too, cuz without it, i think we wldn't really noe wad 患难见真情 really meant.. took lots of photos.. it'd be difficult not to haf any since we haf a Queen who wants to take photos every minute.. but, u'll haf to be more patient.. in other words.. 慢慢等..

Next up wld be Amanda's b'day party..

18/12
Theme was "Angels and Gothic" n we really expected ppl to be fully dressed n equipped.. To our disappointment, wad we saw at her hse were ppl smacked in simple black or white tops to fit e theme.. N we really looked like we've overdressed until another grp came.. We gave amanda 6 condomsand a sexy black translucent sweetheart lingerie(dunno whether it's pronounce as "ling-ger-ry" or "lawn-jer-ray") and a plaster for george, her bf.. Haha.. had lots of fun taking photos thruout e party n there's one i took wif bei that i really liked.. will show u all when i get it.. haha.. After tt took a cab back to pf hse n decided to stay over.. supposed to ton, but we ko at ard 2++.. As usual, our Princess Sotong had to rush home n of cuz, Sir Justin the Knight had to escort her on his horseback.. erm sorry, now more modern, use cab..

19/12

yup.. woke up at 4+.. ok actually i didn't sleep much cuz i'm a claustrophobe (someone who's afraid of enclosed area) n e best thing was tt my "bed" was directly under pf's laptop ledge.. too add on, her room was COLD so i decided to escape n go to e loo.. sadly e loo was occupied by her bro so i sat in e living room to wait.. However, he was a lil startled when he came out.. (of cuz, who wld expect to see someone sitting in e living room at 5 am??) :P

Then slacked at pf hse till 2+ then they decided to watch eragon at 5.. so me n bei cabbed hm tgt since it was raining super heavily.. Oh well.. Seng kang really sux cuz e taxis simply juz turn into e taxi stand even though we 2 flagged frantically for cabs on e kerb.. si even though we're wif brollies, we were drenched.. Anyway, after tt we(pf, justin, bei n me) went vivo to watch eragon, then went ps to look for my cousin for dinner n jie came too(after his date.. haha)

Sat at mos for very long, made fun of jie over this horoscope bk his "fren" lent to him n talked for super super long.. of cuz, wif us ard, we can only be crapping, gossipping n wad else? oh ya, singing.. how cld i have forgotten abt tt.. Justin composed this song erm no.. he juz changed e lyrics.. but becuz of those lyrics, everybody almost laughed till we rolled off e chairs.. e original song was called 相思河畔, but now.. i dunno.. composer hasn't named it.. Bei says she'll blog abt e lyrics so maybe i'll steal frm her.. haha..

20/12

lastly, today.. basically jiu blog, slack n watch 花样少年少女 n 爱杀17.. N of cuz, kena niao by my mum.. As expected, she 发了最后通牒 for me.. It's e final warning tt if i 先斩后奏 again, i can forget abt gg home from then on.. Well this means staying over @ frens' hse without permission, which obviously cldn't haf happened even if i 吃了豹子胆, is nv gg to happen again.. So, e only way for me to join u all for stayovers, is for u all to come my hse le.. u wan mahjong? i got 2 sets of mahjong n 2 tables.. not enough? i got poker cards n lap top.. Haiz... I really dun understand y they allow me to go abroad wif u guys, but not for stay overs.. not as if anything will really to happen to us.. we're at home wad... Haiz 算了吧，多想也无益。

我错了。。。又做错了。。。

2006-11-04T22:37:00.000+08:00

我错了。。。又做错了。。。难怪总是被妈妈骂：“说话怎么从不经过大脑？！！”

那天，我把一封信交给了一个人。里边有一些话，说实在地，若当着面，还真开不了口。。坦白说，信里的每一字，每一句都是肺腑之言。谚所谓：言者无意，听者有心。心直口快的我万万没想到，这些话对他打击如此之深。对此，我真的感到非常非常地抱歉。。。

对不起，我真的没有要你把他从脑里和心里彻底清除的意思。真的，请你相信我。对于你所面对和经历的，我真得很心疼，而且我本身也经历了好几回，当然晓得其中的痛苦。

说出去的话就如覆水难收，我真的真的感到很抱歉。总而言之，只有一句话。。 对不起。。我错了。。真的错了。。

在此，我发誓，我再也不提此事了。永远都不会。相信我。

bad days.....

2006-10-03T14:56:00.000+08:00

随着时间一分一秒的流逝，考试的日期也随之一步步的逼近。毕业考似乎刚结束没多久，而我们又得再一次为年底的A水准作“最后一次”的冲刺。虽说已是最后一次，但我却无法再提起任何读书的劲儿。或许是因为毕业考的努力付诸流水，使我再一次看清了努力不一定会得到任何结果的事实。

老师总是说我是个有潜力的学生，因为上课时我总能对答如流，然而，每每到了考试的时候，我却总是无法表现出他们所谓的“实力”。面对一次又一次的失败，我总是自我勉励，告诉自己下一次我会做得更好，然而，每一回的“下一次”都得不到任何收获。我当然知道这一切都已成了过去，且也不再重要，因为一切的一切和所谓的“前途”与“将来”就决定于十一月二日的生死之战。

对于这两年来永无止进的“寒窗苦读” 和老师们的喋喋不休，我已感到疲惫，甚至感到厌恶。他们总是觉得我们付出的努力还不够，且应该再积极，再努力。平心而论，他们究竟看到我们的努力了吗？或者，他们只是“凭经验”断定我们不够努力呢？对于当局者的努力，旁观者究竟知道多少？又了解多少？一次又一次不分青红皂白的指责和“不够论”，不仅仅重重地打击了莘莘学子那幼小的心灵，也抹杀了大家所付出的努力。当然，这里只是泛指天地间所有的老师，而不是针对任何人。

老师们对“够”与“不够”的定义就只有一线之差。成绩优越者所付出的努力属"够"，而成绩拙劣者，则属“不够”。凭天说话，够与不够的尺究竟应放在何处？努力与否又将如何以肉眼衡量？俗话说：“若非一番寒彻骨，哪得梅花扑鼻香？” 然而，经历了寒风刺骨的严冬梅花儿就一定盛开吗？不开的蓓蕾难道就没有经历寒风和霜雪的折磨吗？若是如此，试问，考了A水准又有何用？名列前茅者凭着一纸文凭傲然步入大学，前途一片光明。名落孙山者则拿着犹如废纸的“文凭”慨叹前途“无亮”呵。

update... as requested..

2006-08-23T23:10:00.000+08:00

Ok.. I noe it's been LONG since i last updated.. Firstly, i'm really bz mugging like mad, n secondly, simply no chance to blog.. Been mugging real hard these weeks for pre-prelim n of cuz TT fateful day.. I really haf no wish to go back tp sch n cry my eyes out bcuz of e dumb results n saying all the "早知道s".. I've already wasted 1 yr, so there's no time left.. Ppl might think it's ok, as long as u put in ur efforts, but my family doesn't think so.. they equate effort wif results. so, no efforts wif resutls= daigo n efforts wif no results = ZERO.. Haiz wad to do?? MUGG lor..

Now everyday i stay in sch to mugg at least till 9 de.. early then b4 8:30, late till 10+.. But now still not counted as revision cuz owaes juz studying for e nxt test n e nxt... Tests r endless n A's r coming.. STRESSED! n EVERYONE ard me is mugging like siao.. my class, my clique, n oso my full-of-nonsense byg ppl.. All bcum super duper serious.. + e " learning culture" my principal created by coming up wif e nite study thingy, i'm totally stressed out n tired.. However, i'm only productive in sch.. once i reach home, i juz slack off TOTALLY.. maybe cuz i'm usually braindead by then..

By rite shld be able to 倒头大睡, but sometimes i juz can't! Sometimes every 2 hrs jiu sit up in e middle of e nite, on and off, if not jiu loads n loads of weird dreams tt i dun rmb when i wake up.. Tt's y i'm usually shagged in e morning when ppl see me.. Mm.. juz changed a new phone n liked it quite a lot.. muz 好好呵护..

Aiya, i dunno wad to say liao.. tt'll be all..

PS: mingjue.... request granted.. haha!

Thankie ppl!!!

2006-07-28T09:43:00.000+08:00

Hello!! Finally I'm here.. haha been 3 days since my b'day n i muz say it's e best soooo far.. My lil yun gang clique celebrated my b'day 1 day in advance n e cake n presents were a real surprise!=P Haha.. Spent a very LONG time shifting from tables to tables in e canteen cuz e wind too strong n e candles wldn't light up.. Had some "cream battle" which started in e lil locker area.. Well i really muz admit i'm old... started panting like dunno wad after chasing e few of them round e canteen n still they r clean... (-_-)

All was fun for tt day until they started cheering "O-BA-SANG" while drinking instead of usual "yum seng".. Excuse me... I noe i'm e oldest amongst u, but not THAT old can?? i'm only 19 my dears!!! Not 91!

Anyway on e 25th, (my b'day!) everything went boring as usual.. Until... i sensed sth fishy when hoi ning n rindy went to e canteen for no reason.. N they came up wif... a cake! wahaha.. Initially i tot they forgot abt it n was a lil disappointed.. But it came as a surprise!! N there's presents too!! A cute pencil box n a cute bottle in PINK!!

Suddenly all my presents sooo "ger "... A halter n necklace frm my dear yun gang clique n now pinky stuff.. Hmmm... Seems like my frens find me too "tough" n need some girly factors in my life... Wahaha!!

Well well.. A pleasant surprise after all.. 2 cakes!! though my hse abit de cold la.. nobody said anything, not even a "happy b'day" except for my dear daddy!! he gave me a $20 ang pow to buy my things cuz he simply has no idea how n wad to buy presents for me.. haha..

After saying so much, i juz wanna say a super big THANK YOU to 05A7B (esp e u noe whos) n my yun gang clique for giving me a surprise on my b'day! Of cuz i musn't forget my daddy!! Thx daddy!! and gives everybody a BIG BIG HUG!!

extracts frm books n other media

2006-07-23T19:01:00.000+08:00

《香雪海》--引述于《天外飞仙》上官浩淇。

路尽隐香处，
翩然雪海间。
梅花仍犹在，
雪海何处寻?

--引自亦舒作品。

《玉梨魂》

一个人最好的朋友，

终究是他自己。

《忽尔今夏》

偶然是一份很美的感觉，
不是故意，也不是约定。
------------------------------------------------------

偶然是一份很美的感觉，不是故意，也不是约定。因为这份“偶然”，我们相遇，相识。也因为这份“偶然”，燃起了我心底的期待和渴望。只可惜，“偶然”所带来的美，远不及其所带来的痛苦与失落。

Moody week.....

2006-07-15T00:00:00.000+08:00

I'm finally back.. Nearly 2 mths my blog's left stagnant, bcuz of mid-yrs n my trip to perth... Was mugging thru e holidays, well not exactly MUGGING but we did mugg quite a bit.. Got back some of my results liao, but they r really horrible n i am disappointed wif them.. Cuz i really did put in quite some effort in my studies this time round.. At least mugging more than the block test period.. But e results don't seem to show.. However, my econs did improve though it's still fail.. Improved from an F to O, so i'm quite satisfied.. At least effort paid off for Econs.. Geog ma... Super disappointing esp physical.. Cuz i spent a whole lot of my holidays on it n yet i only scraped an O.. Human's still marking in progress.. N i flunked my CLA.. Only got an O... Wad the hell... N mr ng wanna see me individually.. Haiz...

As for Perth trip, it as really fun n i made some frens.. Though it's a pity we were clickish frm e start till e end, but we made frens nonetheless.. I will upload the pictures we took as soon as i get them.. Juz to share wif everyone of cuz... If i get e chance, i wld definitely revisit the various places again. This time round, i wanna go see the dolphins, kangies n koala.. N platypus too.. haha

Anyway... This few days I've been rather moody as it is all written on my face.. N i juz keep losing my things.. Earlier this week, i lost my 8310 which was my 16 yrs old birthda present frm my daddy.. Haiz.. Damn pissed wif myself n i muz emphasize, it was after gp tt i noticed it got missing.. Dun ever think i'll get it back again n now, i lost almost all my contacts.. damn shitty... Then on Thursday, i misplaced e sch's library book n it's again after gp tt i lost e book.. It really made me wonder whether gp is the jinx subject causing me to lose my brain n my things, or is e tutor tt brings me everything except good luck.. Another 邪门 thingy.. I was only 1 mark away to get a C6 for gp.. Which means, i flunked it..

Haiz... As far as i can conclude for this sch week, Gp is e 克星 of my entire week.. Am going Orchard to shop tml.. Muz pamper myself abit, cuz b'day coming n no one to pamper me.. Let's hope i wun lose anything for e rest of my days in NY again.. Damn freaky.....

getting emotional

2006-05-21T12:19:00.000+08:00

印象中，最后一次和你见面是在一月中。不知道你最近过得如何，更不晓得你是否还有到这里来浏览。虽然甚少联络，但对你的思念却似乎不曾停过。不奢望你回到我身边，只希望不要离我越来越遥远。

getting emotional again..

全世界的人都知道 (湘琴之单恋主题)

在见到你关鍵的每一秒爱的情愫开始发酵
小心翼翼写给你的字条幸福画上心型记号

你像一座孤傲的岛有自己的城堡
我是上不了岸的潮也只能将你围绕

全世界的人都知道
一厢情愿是种烦恼
只要换你一次微笑
就算是作梦也会笑

全世界的人不知道
我不在乎付出多少
我想这就是幸福写照
任何人不能阻止我对你的好

Right Here Waiting—Richard Marx

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you

Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' CrAzY

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' cRaZy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you

Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

the test...

2006-05-14T13:43:00.000+08:00

UNFORGETTABLE MEMORIES.

[View everything in Chinese simplified]

游戏规则：

[一]被点到名字的人在自己的Blog(或主页)上写下答案，并且要再想出几个题目，将这几个题目传给另外七个人，还要到这七个人的Blog上留言通知对方“你被点名啦”

[二]这七个人要在自己的Blog里注明是从哪里接到的题目，并且再想几个题目传给另外七个人，让游戏继续下去。但是不得回传..

The unlucky seven people:
1.Kai tian
2.Poonie
3.Joy
4.Meh
5.Samq
6.lynette
7. serene

I’m so evil... Wahaha

let's start...

1、喜欢一个人到什么程度可以算是爱？

脑海里常常浮现的是他，心情因他起伏不定。遇到困难时，最希望他会突然出现在你身边抱着你，安慰你，快乐是希望第一个让他知道，与他分享。能为他做任何事，就算要你牺牲性命也值得。即使他心里没有你，或者曾经伤了你的心，只要他幸福快乐，其他一切都不再重要。

2、今年的情人节你怎么过的？

筹备云岗中度过。但我买了香精玫瑰送给许多人，晚上还和一堆人度过了充满欢声笑语的情人节。（这是我18年来的第一个情人节，信不信由你。）

3、你相信网络里有真实的感情？

信。在他占有你之前。

4、你相信“今生的情人来世会成为父女”这句话吗？

我相信他之所以成为我的父亲，是希望能延续我们前世的情愫，给我更多，更完善的爱护和照顾。（很愚蠢吧？）

5、如果可以重新选择，你还会选择现在的职业或者所学的专业吗？

会。因为选择了南初，让我结识了许多让我毕生难忘的朋友。可惜的事，这个选择也让我离梦想越来越远。

6、倘若时光可以倒流，你希望你现在可以回到几岁？

去年的十月至十一月之间，和筹备云岗的那段日子。

7、如果以生命做代价，你愿意用它换取什么?

我所关心爱护的人的健康幸福。

8、请用一句话说明你是怎样的一个人。

以刚烈的外表来掩饰内心的软弱，是个极度缺乏安全感的人。

9、喜欢牛郎织女的故事还是喜欢鹊桥仙的故事？

我的妈呀！你指的是哪个朝代哪个作者的《鹊桥仙》呀？！

10、你喜欢哪个与爱情无关的故事？

神话。

11、相信有抬头纹的人会比较善良吗?

不相信。

12、你觉得梦是什么？

梦是一个让人把埋藏在潜意识里想说和想做的事抒发出来的管道之一。而这些在潜意识里的事往往是现实生活中所不能满足或完成的。

13、相信有肯为对方付出生命的真爱吗？

相信。如果我真的爱他，而我的付出是唯一能使他健康幸福的方法。

14、觉得爱情的保质期有多长？

如果有的话，我希望是从认识的那一刻起，直至永恒。

15、快乐是什么？

当我关心的人都健康幸福，这就是快乐。

16、有过恐惧稳定的时候吗?

有。因为像是暴风雨来临时不寻常的平静。很可怕。

17、你觉得周笔畅怎么样？

不认识。

18、孤独和寂寞的时候怎样?

回想往事，快乐和悲伤的都有。

19、拿破仑和希特勒和成吉思汗比较，更欣赏谁？

没有。

20、写东西时候遇到你根本没兴趣却又必须写的，怎么办？

先把脑袋放空，再来个东拉西扯，胡掰瞎掰。凡正写久就通顺啦。

21、近期的要实现的目标是什么？

把功课昨完，考好年中考试。

22、举出一件你认为做得很勇敢的事。

至今仍然活着。这已经很勇敢了，不是吗？

23、举出一件你后悔去做的事。

放弃了一个机会。

24、如果认路和认人这两项技能你只能得到一项，你会选哪一项?

认人。这样就能问路啦！我已经做了18年的路痴，再痴也无妨。

25、你会拒绝陌生人的善意么？

要视情况而定，必要时，就会。

26、面对困难，你更多的选择争取还是放弃？

都有。。要视情况而定。

27、你会离开现在生活的城市么？为什么？

可能吧。去体验一下另一种生活方式应该也很不错。

28、你在梦里会有暴力倾向么？

我在现实生活中才有。

29、什么样的音乐会让你感动？

只要能和我产生共鸣的歌都能感动我的心弦。

30、你如何评价“人类是没有救的”这句话？

这个嘛。。。不知道

31、最近哭是什么时候？

前天晚上。

32、到一个荒岛上，只能带一样东西，你带什么？

小说。

33、你做过的最尴尬的事情是什么？

在学校里玩真心话大冒险时的“大冒险”（罪魁祸首是谁呢。。。）

34、最想去旅行的河外星系是？

huh?!

35、如果可以选择，你是要外表比内心成熟的还是相反？

内心吧。

36、最近读的一本书叫什么名字？

john sloman economics

37、会对人以外的生物及非生物说话吗？

经常。

38、觉得无心犯大错可以轻易原谅吗？

可以原谅但是不是轻易。必须让对方知道与明白事情的重要性。 (I agree!)

39、有没有想过自己老了会怎么样呢？

和三五个同样是嫁不出去的孤独老人住进老人公寓过着写意的生活。

40、如果在无差别妄想中，想作什么职业呢？

幼儿园的教师，演员

41、理想中的自己应是怎样一个人？为什么？

做事果断，感情适量。都说是理想中了嘛！

42、到现在为止最爱的人是？

亲情：爸，妈，弟
友情：云岗的人，05A7B clique

43、你觉得什么样的生活才算空虚呢？

被人牵着鼻子走，没有目标，没有朋友的生活。

44、你心中的成熟的标志是什么?

凡是懂得以大局为重，但又不失自我的人。

45、第2批托福成绩什么时候才能到？

什么托福成绩??

46、最浪漫的婚姻典礼?

在泳池旁边，以粉红色的baby rose为全场点缀，穿着裙摆长长的白色礼服，手捧一束白色的百合花，在家人和朋友的祝福下与他步上红地毯，走完处女之路。

47、生命中最大的嫉妒是什么?

健康正常的人

48、你的择偶标准是什么？

幽默风趣，喜欢小孩，我爸妈喜欢（我希望得到他们的祝福），能镇住我的脾气，会烹饪（弥补我这方面的缺陷），要认路（家里不需要多一个路痴），其他如下…

49、你要是个男生，要怎么做好男朋友？

多关心她一点，多了解她一点，有时给予她一点小惊喜，有时要刻意显得欲擒故纵。

50、怎样做一个细心的人？

对周遭的人敏感一点，观察并试着了解他人。

51、怎样迈出情绪低谷？

暴饮暴食，大哭一场，倒头大睡。

52、谁开始的这游戏？（考虑灭了他。）

不知道。。

53、因为作这个赶不上吃饭了，饿死了怎么办？

对不起，吃饭皇帝大，我绝不为这东西饿坏肚子。

54、你是谁？

地球上的一个普通人。

55、你来自哪里？

新加坡

56、到目前为止为谁哭得最多？

天知，地知，还有我知…

57. 有没有比你更笨的猪呢？

拜托！猪很聪明好不好… 最起码它懂得及时享乐，不像人类庸庸碌碌，成为钱的奴隶。

58. 这个游戏无聊吗？

还好耶，我做过更无聊的。。

明珏的问题：如果你一天只能讲一句话，你会讲什么?

Excuse me..

我的问题：如果让你用一种颜色把世界粉刷一番，你会用什么颜色？原因何在？

To the lucky 7, congrats...

updating...

2006-05-10T21:11:00.000+08:00

昨天是 “他”的头七。不晓得皆是否有替 “他” 办头七回魂的种种仪式。或许他不晓得，又或许“他”太年轻，不能有这些传统的习俗... 无论如何，希望 “他”摆脱了一切苦厄，真正的得到了解脱...

昨晚收拾房间的时候，找到了那包星星。它，勾起了无限的遗憾.. 因为，一切的努力和积极都来得太迟，让我自责不已，感慨万千。

或许... 更积极一点，更有诚意一点，一切都会不同。或许... 更努力一点，更固执一点，一切就会改变。或许... 或许... ...

只可惜，来不及了... 再也没有 “或许”，和 “如果”的机会。

我们都知道，这段时间皆辛苦了，但遗憾的，我们什么忙也帮不上，唯有静静地在你身旁守护着，支持着你。放心吧，好好的治疗心灵上的创伤... 凡事都有我们在你身边..

Synergy 06..

2006-04-30T08:46:00.000+08:00

Yupx.. I still went to watch le.. Mm... Having seen all e blunders n super lousy rehearsals... I muz say tt they haf really done well last nite, except for dance which was a bit messy, n 谢幕 was horrible.. Grps were nowhere to be seen when called for, but came out when they were not called.. Haiz.. n e emcees.. Desmond was good.. but e lady... Atrocious.. 忘词 n horrible chinese... Dunno wad else to say.. But nonetheless, e performance still 圆满结束了...

So.... Let's give them a pat on their back for a little encouragement n..............

3 CHEERS N 3 CHEERS N 3 CHEERS FOR NY!
HIP HIP.. HURRAY !!
HIP HIP.. HURRAY !!!
HIP HIP.. HURRAY !!!!

Of cuz.. we muz not forget our 劳苦功高的 AVA.. They did EXTREMELY WELL despite having to be spiders.. (*Winky*) Hehe.. Big Hugz to yiwen n weebeng... n everyone else of cuz..

Mm.. oh! n i saw my senior last nite oso.. so surprised to see him initially.. but rmb tt he was frm CO, so 下去支持也是应该的.. But... He looks super shocked when he saw me leh... A bit de 夸张 la.. 反应有必要这么大吗？Haha..

ok.. Tt'll be all..

2006-04-27T14:06:00.000+08:00

Hi all.. here i am blogging in sch......... Again....

Nth much happened this few days.. But dunno y juz feel tired.. Like always dozing off in class.. Tuesday was e worst.. Only kept awake like during geog, break n CLA2.. Bad student.. Attitude.. Haiz.. but wad to do? I'm sleeping at my usual bedtime n woke much later these days.. practically late everyday n got to sprint to sch like some mad woman.. Same for my bro.. These few days wake up very late then jiu rush to sch... So sianz..

Been meeting wif peifen, justin, mingjue everyday after lessons this few weeks.. Quite productive.. at least i get my hw done n did some revision.. Esp for econs since tt's e only common subj i haf wif pf... She ask qn n i ans cuz my class faster.. then sometimes 被她越搞越乱就 haf to ask justin.. But he can only help in micro qn cuz he dropped econs le.. Then when we ask him n he gets e ans, he'll feel so happy n proud of himself cuz he can do econs qn tt we as econs students can't...

星期二是唯一没有见面的一天。而那一天，却让我觉得异常的寂寞难熬。可见，每天和他们 meet up 已成为我的习惯。“从以前的不习惯到慢慢习惯，到现在，已是非常习惯了。” 这样的感觉让我感到害怕。因为，我不知道。。。如果我们分手了，是否还有再相聚的机会。。。。

star (or cloud?) gazing... in sch..

2006-04-20T09:27:00.000+08:00

Hehe.. Here i come again.. Yesterday had a nice time wif Justin, Pei fen, ming jue, wee beng n yiwen.. Haha..

Firstly, we sneaked into LT4 to watch e rehearsal for Synergy.. Of cuz, wee beng n yiwen can 大大方方 go in n out cuz they r e 老大 of AVA.. Anyway.. E rehearsal was ATROCIOUS!! Can u imagine going to a musical performance n e performing group 把所有曲目的拍子搞得一塌糊涂？此外，表演者的配合度根本近乎于0，而且坐姿异常的丑！基本上，台下的人几乎都能看到她的裙底“风光”.. Yux.. Also.. Has anybody seen ANY performance tt 换景 wif all e curtains open n lights "DIMMED" instead of "OFF" n all the moves' butts facing e audience?? Wad a weird 安排 they haf lor.. Besides, BYG has already trained some of e AVA crews on lighting designs etc, but e synergy tchers simply dun noe how to 好好利用 them.. n to think AVA r not even allowed to give suggestions when they r actually e most experienced wif e lights n stage positions... Wad a waste!!

Ok.. Here's e really nice part.. We ordered canadian pizza to e sch n ate it right at e parade square... Heez.. Ok.. I noe there r creepy crawlies waiting to share our food, but it's worse at e Eblouissant cuz e flies r practically attacking us even when there's no food.. Anyway, after eating, we juz lie down on e floor to look at e stars.. ok.. Clouds n aeroplanes instead.. Nonetheless, it was fun n relaxing..

天下无不散之筵席，而美好的事物也总是短暂的，everything had to come to an end.. So we left e college at abt 9+ n headed for home..

These few days there's sth tt's bugging everyone in BYG.. At least for those who knew abt wad happened.. There's really NOTHING we can do to help except giving him our concern n let him noe tt there's owaes someone he cld depend on regardless of e situation...

WE CARE JIE!!! WE REALLY DO!! DUN GIVE UP HOPE!! NOT AT THIS POINT IN TIME!!! HANG ON... WE'LL BE THERE FOR U.........

bad hair cut??

2006-04-13T22:00:00.000+08:00

Bleahx.. I finally had my hair cut le.. Yaya.. I noe it's been a million yrs since i started whining to go for a hair cut.. So, today I finally got it done.. 一半的原因也是因为心情不好吧.. Haiz.. Both results n ranking n some other things..

So demoralizing lor.. After studying n putting in e effort, i'm ranked 898/951!! Can u believe it???? So 丢脸 lor... Haiz.. I muz work even harder.. 绝对不能让人看不起!! Think tt i can't do it in jc?? 我就偏要留下来做给你看!!

我一定要坚持到底！永不言败！

因为...

太子说过：“不要轻言放弃，否则对不起自己！”

Hehe.. Familiar ba?? *Wink Wink*

Anyway, today's hair cut was a total failure.. At least tt's wad my whole family tot.. Die le la.. Tml still got to meet hoi ning n my beloved BYG ppl to mugg.. If my hair's THAT bad, how to 出去见人??! Aiyo.. Can anybody do magic n let my hair look better??

stupid fool! tt's me!

2006-04-06T15:59:00.000+08:00

Ok.. I got back all my results le... N they sucked.. FOO... Which makes me feel like a fool.. Haiz.. As usual, i didn't pass my econs.. n it's e F tt u see.. horrible rite? So saddening.. i put in so much time for human geog n yet i got worse than my physical.. N to think i kind of gave up econs for geog hoping to get a better grade.. In e end.. haiz.. Even justin oso can't believe it.. N e qn he asked oso sent me wondering.... 我到底怎么考的？？！！！

N now I got to go for consultation for all my subjects.. So shitty.. So much more extra homework n all those rubbish stuff.. Even got to go back EVERYDAY frm 8-5 during june holidays.. Shitty Hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aargh.. I'm so sick of e sch n life!!!!!

Sianz....

2006-03-31T15:25:00.000+08:00

So sianz.. got back my CLA paper.. N i flunked it.. got an O.. So 丢脸.. Haiz... Geog paper 1 oso O.. Haiz.. Then muz go for all e consultation periods.. Which means a whole load of extra work added on to my sch work n tests... No choice.. 谁叫自己不争气.. Some ppl nv study oso can score better grades than ppl who really put in effort to mugg.. Haiz 天注定的.. Oh well.. Juz got to work harder ba.. Since there's only juz 7 more mths to my A's.. I guess i shld juz mugg for this period then see wad happens.. If after mid yr i can't continue in jc then 打算 ba.. Anyway take A's le oso dun mean i can go Uni.. Haiz.. wadeva la.. 船到桥头自然直，think so much oso no use..

Hmm.. So long liao.. no news of him.. seems to haf vanished into thin air.. no contact, nth.. I noe he's got girlfren le, so shldn't carry any more hopes.. haha 谈何容易啊！Anyway He's oso very bz la.. got to juggle btwn army life, night school n gf.. So i better not bother him ba.. 不要把自己变得惹人厌。虽然尝试让自己脑袋放空，尽量不去想任何事，但一个人的思绪和情绪是不被大脑控制的，所以常常落入明知不可为而为之的处境。

以下的歌曲正是我的心情写照。
http://www.souting.com/playsong.asp?77459

听见 (湘琴之暗恋心情主题)

你不开心的脸，仿佛将我推到悬崖边缘
距离就算在靠近眼前，我们一样没交点
没有你的世界，就像寒冬没有春天依偎
少了你不在身边，我的四季只剩下冬天
悲伤喜悦回忆不断重演，静下来的世界
有我的思念，也有你的空虚无边

你有没有听见，寂寞的声音悄悄在蔓延
他住进我们之间，消耗着我和你的永远
你有没有听见，思念的呼唤传遍每条街
就算你走的再远，累了回头我就在你的身边

歌词出自《恶作剧之吻》电视原声带

Hehe.. Changed my blogskin!!

2006-03-25T10:58:00.000+08:00

As e title goes.. Haha.. I'm so happy!! I juz change it.. So nice rite?? I LOVE e show a whole lot!! Oh my.. I can't wait to get the vcd n ost!!

Haha.. Ok.. Tt's enough madness!! Another thing to be happy abt.. Me going to SENTOSA.. Yay! Though pretty disappointing tt my 《很狠爱》not going.. Nvm, at least there's justin they all ba.. Haiz.. Ok.. Shall stop here.. Got to go prepare le.. Tata..

Block Test Week!!

2006-03-17T22:16:00.000+08:00

Omg.. Yes, it's e dreadful block tests... I juz had one today n it's chinese.. Oh gosh.. It was horrid.. I dunno how to do e qns esp for P2.. Yup, e 20 marks qn.. It was real tough.. I'll be happy if i can get sth like 20/60 for tt section.. Haiz.. I noe it's so 胸无大志, but wad to do? so chim.. Then i think i gonna fail my 作文 oso.. I think i wrote 离题.. Haiz...

Hope tt everything will go well for e other papers.. Esp my Geog.. Haven been passing my tutorial assignments.. always get ard 3-5/ 25.. Haiz.. Not much of hope to pass this subject.. N e lecture notes r so difficult to understand.. Haiz.. plus, there's so many blanks n no answers lor.. Haiz.. How??

I've planned my revision time table n will be putting majority of my time on geog cuz there's simply too much to study.. Haiz.. hope my efforts will show at least some results.. Tt is, if i follow strictly to my plans.. Been slacking today after e paper.. Muz buck up tml liao.. Jia you ba..

Everything's over.. Juz lidat..

2006-03-05T20:39:00.000+08:00

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随着<<我们的白云岗2006>> 的落幕，我们这三个月来所面对的辛劳，口角和压力也圆满地结束了。虽然依依不舍，但也无可奈何。就如财金所说的：“我们功德圆满了。”话虽如此，心里面却仍然有着一丝丝的忧伤。想当初，我们还在为天天留在校内彩排到九点闹得《很狠爱》的剧组差点儿散了，如今却因为白云岗的落幕而感到不知所措，甚至有千万般的依恋，希望时间能够倒流。

昨晚的谢幕让我感慨万千，心里虽然难过想哭，但是怎么也哭不出来，只流了两行泪。然而，当我回到家里，一个人在房里的时候，却感觉到前所未有的空虚和寂寞。这种感觉是去年所没有的。我原本已为今年应该不会像去年一样难过，但事实证明我错了，真的错了。对于《很狠爱》的离别之痛和思念之苦，我相信，是无人能极的。因为，我所感受到的不是一般的痛，而是锥心之痛。

一个人的时间真的很难过。尽管身心交瘁，但还是辗转难眠。失眠的我，想到了大家给的礼物和信件，希望能借这些信件来安抚一颗悬在半空的心。然而，阅读这些信件却起了反效果。它们不仅没安抚我，反而更勾起了我对整个白云岗的思念和三个月来的点点滴滴。

强忍着的泪水终于不听使唤，犹如决了堤的河水不停地从眼眶里涌出来，而脑海里浮现的不是演出的成功，而是一路走来的风风雨雨，彩排时所受的气，泼妇骂街似的对演员破口大骂，低声下气的规劝和轻松愉快的促膝谈心。

这三个月来的一点一滴是如此的刻骨铭心。而我敢肯定的是，这一切的一切将永远陪伴着我，也会是我在初院里最难忘的时光。

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Fun day at rehearsal =)

2006-02-04T23:24:00.000+08:00

Hehe.. Today rehearsal so funny.. Chixiong so amusing.. Shuyu too.. N then strawberry qream... So ke ai.. Hehe.. These r my actors.. There's another one.. Benjamin.. oso a cute guy.. but he's been sooo bz wif chingay rehearsals n stuff... my actors so ke ai.. as in e way they carry themselves.. haha..

N i got a very gd asm.. Jieying.. She like so pro.. She's doing e lights n sounds.. No choice arh.. I got nite blindness.. So wun be of any help even if i'm in e control room.. She like got some experience wif the lights.. Superman juz say only she can catch the ball liao.. So proud of her.. Hehe...

Yups I'm really proud of my grp.. Though we haven really come together to pai e ju, i'm glad tt we can work wif one another, cope wif e stress n yet have fun.. Yups!! Keep going ppl!! Keep it up n jia you!! ;p

Happy New Year...

2006-02-02T16:24:00.000+08:00

Heyz.. 1 week nv blog le.. Hehe.. Been very bz rehearsing for 白云岗.. 趁现在 still new yr period n i got time to blog, wish everybody 新年快乐！心想事成！

ok.. Back to wad i wanted to say.. Guess u guys enjoyed ur hollies ba? For me? Abit sad.. cuz i was still sick n went to e doctor's on 除夕.. N while everybody's stuffing themselves wif e new yr goodies, i was stuck wif medicine.. Haiz.. Ate medicine n go 拜年.. Kaoz.. Then jiu felt super drowsy at my relatives' hse n everybody can see "I am sick" on my face.. This yr 红包only got 100+.. Sobx.. so sad...

Anyway, this yr de CNY abit weird...

Firstly, my ah gong n daddy suddenly "inflated" our 压岁钱.. then my dad said even weirder things.. he said:" 祝你学业进步，考试顺利，今年找到 boyfren!!" I mean.. it's like so diaoz lor.. n super surprisingly, my mum didn't bomb him, but juz stood in front of e stove laughing while she 卤鸭..

Then on 初一，my relatives n ah gong came only in e nite.. Usually they come in e morning then stay until 10 am b4 we all 各走各路.. Somemore my ah gong nv come n 拜祖先 (they r his parents, his grandma n his wife).. He'll usually come at 7 am n start waking me n my bro.. ( my parents dun slp on 除夕) Then even weirder.. My 小姑 actually stay until 11+pm then go home n b4 tt she sat down to haf dinner wif us n even drank until a bit tipsy..

Then 初二，I went to my grand-uncle's hse at Brighton Cres (ok.. it's a 3 storey bungalow to be exact).. Then my grand-uncle n grand-auntie started commenting tt：“哇！阿琪越来越漂亮，越来越 lady-like hor.. 跟以前完全不一样 leh.." Guess u all can guess my expression le ba.. yup.. i was like "huh?!" n started wondering how i shld response.. In e end i juz 傻笑 n keep saying "没有啦，还好啦.." all these weird stuff.. -_- Only 2 words to describe.. 尴尬!

Then at nite went to my 二姑 hse n saw my 2nd 表姐's new boyfren.. He juz looks weird.. N super 色.. He was like looking at all e ladies there wif a funny expression n juz 从头瞄到尾.. So 恶心 lor.. My 表妹 was wearin this super 低腰 pants tt can see her 股沟 n he was like keep 瞄-ing.. Then my 表嫂-to-bewas wearing skirt n she has super nice n long legs.. So he was aiming oso.. Of cuz i caught him looking at me oso la.. (i was wearing a tube n a long skirt..) Of cuz everything tt is supposed to be covered is unseen.. so i dunno wad he's looking at.. maybe e make-up my mum put for me 糊掉 or wad ba.. Anyway, i juz looked back at him straight into e eyes so he pretend to "刚好" see me n smile then juz look away.. Kaoz.. Dunno wad my cousin see in him lor..

N lastly, 初三.. Gosh.. I went to all those LKK's hse (can u imagine tt?) Then me n my bro n mummy were like soooo bored n time passed super duper slowly.. But nth special at their hse.. Then went to my 小姑 hse to haf dinner n i saw my distant 表姐 n my nephew (which is her son la..) Oh my.. He's sooo big liao.. 4 yrs old le ba.. n he's weighing at 25 kg.. Oh gosh wad a ball.. He was so round n chubby n cute.. Haha.. Then after dinner we jiu go home le.. cuz got to go sch on 初四 n tt's yesterday..

Today, nth much happened in sch.. Juz tt my BYG rehearsal was cancelled cuz only 1 actor was able to turn up.. Tt's y i got soo much time to sit down n type all these..

Ok.. I finished my old grandmother story liao.. So tired.. shall go n slp n see if my voice comes back tml.. Haven done my Econs hw, haiz.. but dun care la.. sick n tired.. juz ate medicine.. so super drowsy.. Nitez all..

sick.. juz b4 CNY.. sobx..

2006-01-26T23:21:00.000+08:00

Fall sick liao.. So sianz.. Esp juz b4 CNY.. Haiz.. Hope i wun haf to stay at home alone during this period.. Anyway, i finally had e chance to eat dinner wif my family once again.. It seems like ages we sat down together to haf a proper meal (esp after my BYG rehearsals started)...

During my dinner wif my daddy n mummy, my daddy started a super weird topic.. He suddenly told me to be careful when looking for a boyfren.. I was like "huh??" n stoned there for like 3 secs.. Then he said i so weak, little bit only cannot carry, so muz find a boyfren tt's stronger n can lift me off my feet n dump me down e 11th storey..

So dots rite? N e best part was when they tok abt cooking.. They knew i cldn't cook, so my dad says it wld probably take a million yrs 4 me to cook a dinner for them n my future family to eat... N then my mummy said sth even weirder.. She said :"不要紧啦，反正她有 mikado 煮给她吃.. 最多每天吃辣椒螃蟹而已嘛..."

Kaoz.. Really dunno wad my parents r thinking la.. They made me so super blur.. When i asked them y suddenly tok abt this funny topic, my dad says "it's juz a reminder in case u find a boyfren" but my mummy says it's bcuz 善才爷 say in e coming yr i will 红鸾心动.. which means either settling down for a marriage or e other half wld appear..

So diaoz.. All of a sudden tell me these things.. haiz.. Ok la.. dunno how to respond liao.. Tt'll be all.. Nitez ppl..

updating in school

2006-01-25T12:40:00.000+08:00

Very long nv update.. Haiz.. Yesterday nv sleep very well.. Had a super weird dream... Was strolling on e beach wif him.. Haha.. so bu ke neng right? ( i noe..)

Hmm.. He msg me sth a few days ago tt made me wonder wad he is tryin to say.. Maybe i'm juz thinking too much.. Haha..

Dun feel well since morning.. Think is due to e stress by BYG n all e tests n hw piling up ba.. Was still msging him n saying at most fall sick.. no big deal.. Then now really sick le.. Haha.. Having very sore throat.. Then later still got BYG rehearsal till 7 plus.. Luckily no hw today.. Heehee..

These few days when i walking home alone after BYG rehearsal.. Mm.. Always have this qi dai tt he'll juz show up somewhere to give me a surprise.. But everyday, i go home disappointed.. Of cuz i noe tt this wld probably nv ever happen.. But still, i let my imagination run wild.. (Nobody say tt is not allowed rite?)

Haiz... I noe now is not e time to think of such things, n tt i have nore important things at hand.. But i juz can't control.. Wad to do??

juz updating..

2006-01-21T21:46:00.000+08:00

Heyz ppl.. Been pretty bz these few days, so cldn't find time to update.. Think i'll be even bzier starting frm nxt wk.. BYG rehearsals starting le.. Really getting very worried.. Over e production (haven found my last actor, n fen's script still having major editing), my tests n sth else.. So many things to do n think abt, but so little time.. Wonder whether gd or bad..

For hw n BYG ma, of cuz it's bad.. If its for other things... I oso dunno.. Haha.. After how many million yrs, i finally visited kai tian's blog n got to hear e song she put in.. Oh gawd.. For no reason, i juz cried after i heard the song.. ( getting emotional again..) Haha..

Hmmm... I really wanna apologise to kai tian n poonie.. So sorry.. I'm so bz n have neglected u 2.. I noe tt's a lousy reason, but tt's e truth.. Nonetheless, i still hope i'll be able to give u all help in anyway.. though we're physically away, i'll be wif u all mentally.. hm, how come it sounds like xiao ying has said sth lidat b4?? Or am i dreaming?? Ok, nvm, tt's not e pt..

Juz like to say take care n stay happy..

再一次拥有

2006-01-13T17:00:00.000+08:00

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再一次拥有

我想念去年的冬天
下着雪的那一夜
你给的温柔
紧握的双手
温暖整个寒冬

失去了曾经的拥有
在你离开以后
带走了笑容
只留下寂寞
忘了幸福是什么

没有你的夜特别的漆黑
只能闭上双眼去感觉
没有我的夜谁在你身边
代替了那个从前

能不能再听一次你说爱我
回到还在你怀里的时候
能不能让我再一次拥有
曾属于我的温柔

能不能让我再一次拥有
曾属于我的温柔

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Wad major shld u take?

2006-01-13T01:28:00.000+08:00

Oh well.. I took a psychological test n see wad it says.. (below) Go try it ba... Oh.. btw, this thingy is koped frm nana's blog.. Heehee..

==================================================================

You scored as Theater. You should be a Theater major! Like a bohemian actress, you are seasoned and confident and not afraid to express yourself!

Theater

75%

Anthropology

75%

Journalism

67%

Sociology

58%

English

50%

Art

50%

Biology

42%

Philosophy

42%

Linguistics

42%

Dance

33%

Chemistry

25%

Engineering

25%

Psychology

25%

Mathematics

25%

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

我比想象中爱你

2006-01-11T21:25:00.000+08:00

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我比想象中爱你

飞的越远越看不见
你阳光下灿烂的笑脸
在天跟海之间那条界线
慢慢的走远
你曾经是我的地平线

你有没有一点想念
我们一起去年的夏天
有种爱的感觉在心里面
那么的强烈
而这一切好象只是昨天

我才发现我比想象中爱你
只是一时不小心错过了你
每当夜深人静
我诚实的分析我自己
还是不可否认地
我比想象中爱你

兰花掠过沙滩变静
我又看见我们的脚印
如果遇见幸福的机率
有千万分之一
不顾一切也要找回你

我才发现我比想象中爱你
只是一时不小心错过了你
每当夜深人静
我诚实的分析我自己
总会从梦中惊醒
还是不可否认地
我比想象中爱你

终于发现我比想象中爱你
只是一时不小心错过了你
每当夜深人静
我诚实的分析我自己
总会从梦中惊醒
还是不可否认地
我比想象中爱你

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shagged...

2006-01-11T20:43:00.000+08:00

Whew.. Really shagged today.. had my CCA bazaar today n was standing all e way frm 130 to ard 6 plus.. was selling 麦芽糖.. Mm.. sales wasn't tt good cuz only made like 20 bucks n they r supposed to go into e NY pocket money fund.. take it as 日行一善 ba..

Didn't really haf a lot of ppl signing up, only abt 40+, then plus those juz sign up for fun de.. Mm.. i think left abt 20 ba.. Haiz.. How to come up wif BYG lidat?? Sianz..

Oh.. n i wanna thank my 导演.. Haha.. Heyz superman.. Thx for coming to help at e audition.. So sorry i cldn't attend it this time.. anyway, since it's our 2nd time 合作, we muz 好好加油哦! Haha..

Mmm.. Dun really feel very good these few days.. Dunno y.. Juz moody.. maybe bcuz my auntie visit ba..Haiz.. Sometimes juz feel like keeping quiet n being alone.. but i noe it's not possible esp in sch.. At home ma.. I juz ostracize myself in my room can le.. nobody care de..

Saw ms tang in sch today.. Was sooooo happy.. Oops.. i forgot again.. she 升级 to become Mrs Koh liao.. Haha.. Finally get to see her.. Seeing her juz makes me feel happier.. She 越来越漂亮了.. She found her 幸福.. So happy for her.. Haha.. had quite a long talk wif her.. She's so encouraging.. Even ask us to call her if we haf any problems.. So nice hor.. Really start to miss her badly liao.. Wad to do.. Hmm.. Muz really 考好好 n not let her 失望 again.. 加油吧!!

slacking.. in sch.. =(

2006-01-06T18:51:00.000+08:00

Hiyaz.. Very long nv update liao.. think kai tian's gonna yell at me if i still wun update.. heehee..

Well... As u can see frm e title, i was in sch n freezing in e library... (brrrr...) I finished my lessons at 1:15 n had to wait all e way until 4:30 for a dumb meeting wif e CCS tchers.. So dumb.. Dun feel like going out of sch cuz i still got to go all e way back.. (lazybones, tt's me..) So... might as well juz sit n slack at e library n make full use of e com n electricity there.. Heehee..

Anyways, I had my CLA test during lecture juz now.. It simply sux la... I didn't sleep a wink last nite juz to study for e dumb test n in e end.. I forgot wad i studied.. can't rmb a single thing for e translation part.. Haix.. No choice.. juz haf to make use of e wonderful brains n talent my mum has given me..(puking... haha..) I juz did translation on e spot based on e literal meaning of e sentences.. Juz wrote down wadeva my instincts told me..

Die liao.. I think this time i gonna flunk badly.. Then my tutor will be hopping mad at me.. (prays hard tt he wun ask to meet my parents when he marks my script...) N nobody's gonna believe tt i studied for e test.. (with e results tt i show.. who wld?)

Actually.. I think time really flies super quickly.. In e blink of an eye, i'm in J2 le.. N sch has started for a week le.. I simply hate my timetable cuz i haf to go home so late everyday.. (starts to miss last yr's timetable..) E sch say J2 will get better timetable n go home earlier for revision.. Siao lor.. u try comparing last yr's ending time of 1:15 to this yr's 5:45 la.. which is earlier?

Obviously they dunno how to read e time.. ppl end 12:15 everyday, i end at least 3 1/2 hrs later.. (except thurs n fri) Then still got xtra geog lectures leh.. even worse.. finish at 12:15 on thurs (my earliest day) n haf to wait till 5 to start lecture.. Damn dumb rite?(all bcuz of e sci students..) as if they can concentrate after their sci pract.. might as well make it on sat morning then everyone will be able to concentrate better.. (N those tt wanna go shopping after tt can go ahead wad) Haix.. dunno wad these dumbos r thinking la.. So pissed... there goes my early dismissal..

Haix.. Btw, BYG is coming again le.. not at all looking forward to it like last yr.. simply juz feel irritated at thought of having to go for training like nobody's business again.. I'm still in charge of backstage, SM (stage manager) this time, then muz stay at e control room to give technical cues on e day of performance.. Sad thing is.. I haf night blindness n simply haf no idea how i can see wad's going on in e pitch black theatre on e 2 days.. Haix.. wadeva.. Anyway i dunno a single thing abt e cues n coding of e lightings n sounds.. Wasn't even given a chance to learn wad it's all abt..(was being shooed to take charge of my actors then.. didn't learn anything at all.. sianz..)

Haix.. Soon i'll haf to start selling tix again le.. dunno how many they wan us to sell this time.. Doubt i'll sell any cuz i dun think ppl ard me noe how to 欣赏 chinese drama ba... Anyway, tickets are going at $8 each n there's a special discount this yr.. For every 10 tickets u buy, u r entitled to one free ticket.. those interested can give me a msg...

Haix.. nvm la.. 船到桥头自然直.. Kk.. Shall stop here le....

Finally can use net le..

2005-12-28T14:41:00.000+08:00

Hehe.. As u can see frm e title, my internet crashed.. my acc was suspended cuz my dad pay them late.. damn dumb.. n my bro n i called pac net's customer hotline call until pek chek.. e ppl forever not free.. n we call more than 50 times frm morning to afternoon.. finally they gan yuan pick up.. kaoz waste our $$..

Hmm.. Went out wif him yesterday.. lax.. nt 2 of us.. still gt his 2 younger cousins.. bt i was e only female.. haha.. went to watch king kong.. mm.. my bro said i'll need 10 pax of tissue.. but in e end, i nv shed a single tear.. haha... was touching.. but juz 哭不出来..

Was glad to see him.. nv change much.. n is recovering well.. at least his hand not bandage liao, left his leg only.. but he still walks ard freely.. haha.. hmm.. when nv see him.. miss him of cuz.. cuz he kind of like 人间蒸发 for quite long.. then he suddenly call to ask me watch movie.. haha so happy.. mm.. but when i go home.. start to miss him again.. esp on e way alone.. haiz..

nvm.. at least i get to see him again.. tot might be 老死不相往来 for us liao.. haha.. hmm.. he say he went to 问神 over a couple of things n e 神 ask him to 交多一点朋友.. his past relations were juz an experience for him n a lasting one wld soon come knocking on his door.. so he was asked to be patient n juz mingle ard.. seems like nxt yr got 桃花 wor.. haha..

oh well.. gd for him.. wad else can i say?? juz 献上我万分之一的一点点祝福 ba.. Gd luck pal.. 加油 wor...

天灰

2005-12-22T16:24:00.000+08:00

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最近不知怎么搞的，无论做什么事情都提不起劲。应该说，根本懒得去做任何事。

我想，你永远不会了解，不想了解，更不愿意了解我对你的思念。

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天灰

如果你不再出现
我的世界还有什么可贵
可惜不够时间
让我们试验什么叫永远

*想念变成怀念
心动变成心碎
偏偏还会关切
你最后属于谁

我的天空今天有点灰
我的心是个落叶的季节
我不知道如何度过今夜
所有的灯早已经全都熄灭*

如果你从没出现
我会不会觉得快乐一些
可惜残忍时间
总要把诺言一点点摧毁
repeat*

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Never say i love you,
if you don't really care..

Never talk about feelings,
if they really aren't there..

Never hold my hand,
if u r gonna break my heart..

Never say u r going to,
if you don't plan 2 start..

Never look into my eyes,
if all u do is lie..

Never say hi,
if u really mean goodbye..

If u really mean 4ever,
then say u will try..

Never say 4ever,
Coz 4ever makes me cry..

***stolen frm my cousin's blog***

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sian-ded

2005-12-20T19:19:00.000+08:00

Hiz.. Hmmm.. ytd my bro n cousin took back their N lvl results le.. my bro got 8 n promoted.. But.. still got to wait for his tchers' ping yu to see whether e sch wants to promote him.. My cousin leh.. Haiz.. she got 14, can't even be retained.. so was posted to ITE..

She wants to take e beauty therapy course (new course starting nxt yr) but only simei has it.. N her mum simply refuses to let her go for e course n not even tt ITE.. Keeps forcing her to go nursing.. Dunno wad she thinking.. Pls lah.. Kai tian is definitely not suitable for tt course lor... Y? cuz she feels faint at e sight of blood n is afraid of e deceased(i mean.. who isn't?).. Most importantly, she doesn't even haf e heart in studying tt course la.. how wld she ever be willing to sit down n study for it?

She went down to sian cai ya there wif me today.. (finally.. she hasn't been there since she got her pay..) Even he says she is destined to take up beauty therapy.. She IS definitely suitable for e course n job.. cuz tt's wad she's been dreaming to take up.. Haiz... wadever lor.. I juz tot her to be a lil bad to her mummy.. i told her to tell my ah yi tt e future lies in her own hands.. even if they force her to take up nursing, she will not do well cuz she not at all interested in it.. even sian cai ya oso say beauty therapy suits her.. so if ah yi dun believe, ask her go down geylang bahru tml n ask him.. (haiz.. no choice.. she so insistent on getting Kai tian to take up nursing at AMK ITE)

ok.. let's not harp on this le..

Poonie.. it's been a few times ly zhu dong look for me le.. He msged me a few times today.. But i was bz.. either at e mkt wif my mummy or at sian cai ya.. haha.. N i keep telling him i'll get back to him when i free.. but i juz keep forgetting.. =P

I finally rmb n is now chatting wif him on msn.. haha.. he said he actually wanted to ask me go out walk walk today de.. but i bz.. (he's got off again.. until tuesday..) haha.. he's feeling pretty down again.. see his nick (in italics) :

"life is boring without her ... but wat to do .. she gone and nvr to be back by my side how foolish i am.. do i have a chance .."

I used to be very sensitive to his nick.. but now.. Hmmm... wad can i say.. e feeling is juz different le ba.. Dun ask me y.. i dun even understand myself..

I CARE ABOUT YOU!

2005-12-19T02:43:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?

Saying something and wishing you hadn't?, or
Saying nothing and wishing you had?

I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.
Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.

If you do, they might break your heart...
if you don't, you might break theirs.

Have u ever decided not 2 become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?

Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't.
You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own........when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to.

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you?

Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.

Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?

We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us.

But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger.

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.

Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had.

* What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye?

*What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?

*What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? (even if it is that you don't care anymore)

*What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them?

*What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them?

*People live, but people die. I want to tell you that you are a friend.
If you died tomorrow (God Forbid)
you would be in my heart.

Would I be in yours?

If you care about me as much as I care about you
you will send this back.

You might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year, don't talk that often the next, and don't want to talk at all the year after that.

So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life,

I look up to you, respect you, truly cherish you , most of all I CARE about you.

Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it to you.

Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will.

Remember, everyone needs a friend someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all, just remember this e-mail and take
comfort in knowing
somebody out there cares about you and .. always will..

I CARE ABOUT YOU !!

*** Taken frm an email***

zhi xiang ai ni, ai mei

2005-12-19T02:22:00.000+08:00

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

只想爱你.

我终于还是说了一句我爱你
还记得那个微凉夜里天空正飘着小雨
心跳的声音像舞动奇迹

你看着我说千万不要爱上你
因为你只会让我伤心
别傻了快点喊停
你那么冷静忽远又忽近

我知道我对你来说也许太年轻
我想我猜我问我终于了解
原来为爱流的眼泪
也是种甜蜜滋味

只想爱你
当我和你走在一起就已经决定
不看不听不问也不会放弃
是你让我了解自己
可以为爱那么坚定

只想爱你
好想每天睁开眼睛就能看到你
我知道我偶尔有一点任性
不管你做任何决定
究竟爱我还是逃避
Sorry我还是不会放弃爱你

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

暧昧

只能陪你到这里毕竟有些事不可以
超过了友情还不到爱情远方就要下雨的风景

到底该不该哭泣想太多是我还是你
我很不服气也开始怀疑
眼前的人是不是同一个真实的你

暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气

暧昧让人变得贪心
直到等待失去意义
无奈我和你写不出结局
放遗憾的美丽停在这里

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

finally i went for CCS

2005-12-13T19:11:00.000+08:00

Hi peeps... Today i finally went for CCS le... Yaya.. I noe it's been ages since i attended drama.. Wasn't really feeling like going.. But i promised jieyan tt i wld go today n i did.. 做人要言而有信...
However.. I felt tt it was a wasted trip cuz we went there only to copy script.. E teacher was actually helping them to combine 2 剧本 into 1 cuz they simply 理不出一个头绪 n dunno wad's e main idea of e scripts.. In e end, e teacher really did a super surprising thing n linked e 2 scripts tt were supposedly unrelated.. So now, e 2 scripts combined into 1... N this oso meant tt A LOT of things were 删 frm e scripts...

E teacher made everyone of us who were present to copy e edited script.. He told them to pick e parts of e scripts tt they really wanted to keep n linked them all together into 1 script... Of cuz this was done step by step during class n we copied e edited script part by part while he did e editing... E reason y he wanted everyone to copy was because he tot we all haf very little chances to be exposed to script writing n its format... Thus copying wld be e fastest method to let us get used to script writing...

Although i abit 后悔 tt i went, it was oso pretty lucky cuz i didn't take a cab there ( 打消 e 念头 last minute cuz there's no cab).. otherwise i'ld haf wasted my $$... I took 105 but still 走了冤枉路 cuz e stupid driver didn't stop despite me pressing e bell several times.. in e end i had to drop at St. Gabriel Pr. Sch n walked all e way back to NY.. It was damn far la.. N was drizzling somemore.. So of cuz i was late.. All bcuz of tt stupid driver... However, being there oso let me forget abt thinking of him, at least for tt few hrs.. Simply bcuz we were all tickled by jieyan's extreme ideas n 对白 n oso by jieyi's slow-dedness... Haha.. She copied for so long then suddenly realised tt e 主角 was 精神分裂 n sent us tickling pink wif her: " 他好像神经病 leh.." We all 傻眼 n asked her: "你现在才发现？！" n then started laughing cuz e teacher looked like he was going to 抓狂 by her 后知后觉...

Basically tt's abt all tt happened during e class.. Oh.. N i'm going to TJ for drama on e 20th.. Haha.. Finally i can go for 阿亮's class again... heex... Really looking forward to it cuz i really missed e 阿亮 days i had wif kenneth they all.. was so much more entertaining than drama lessons now... Haiz...

bi shang yan mo nian 3x, hu si luan siang

2005-12-13T18:35:00.000+08:00

====================================================================

闭上眼默念3遍

希望你理解爱上你有多难
像童话里的故事可恶的安排
明明两个人都相爱却偏偏遇阻碍
非得让人痛彻心扉才能证明爱存在

我们如何找到出路通往爱的国度

闭上眼默念三遍
Call my name我就出现
(Call my name and I′ll be there)
有时候寂寞难掩像不醒的梦靥
闭着眼数了三遍
你应该要出现
但你却又食言让我看不见
(你应该要出现但你对我食言不在我身边)

如果你能明白这场相爱有多难
像童话中的傀儡口是心非
以为你找到了幸福我却感到好无助
只能笑笑去祝福偷偷掉着泪

我们拚命想找出路通往爱的国度

永远究竟多么遥远为何我总无缘无法好好体验
爱不像你跟我说的简单像许个愿

====================================================================

胡思乱想

胡思乱想又过了一夜思念的疑问并没有解决
我又胡乱想过了一夜情感的东西是否需要感觉
也许我不知道我是真不明了
人对情感的渴求是否那么重要

也许我不知道你那儿最好让我情牵忘也忘不了
也许我不知道你真的那么好我的思念你又明了多少
我胡思乱想

====================================================================

PISSED!!!

2005-12-11T21:32:00.000+08:00

Before i post yet another set of lyrics... I really very pissed.. muz fa xie... Like i said.. my notes still wif my fren n i can't contact her at all.. As if she vanished into thin air.. Kaoz.. Call her hp forever can't get thru n msg forever nv reply... 2 more wks jiu sch reopen le.. N i haven done my hw leh... Eeyer..... MINDY HUANG!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE THE HELL R U??!!!! CAN REPLY ME NOT????!!!!! Very super duper pek chek... N then our stupid chinese project oso.. nobody like interested lor.. no initiative at all de leh.. ask oso no response de.. Very angry!!

Then another thing... After disappearing for dunno how long, my CCS finally came back.. Actually is i really got no yuan fen wif CCS this yr.. Keep falling sick, then can't go for drama class, if not then is my family got prob (my ah ma funeral) or time clash wif my class learning journey n meeting.. Noe y? Cuz this yr's CCS really jia lad... Forever last minute notice de... Last yr was inefficient, but so much better than this yr... (Really sorry guys... But tt is really e truth.. I'm really disappointed...) N i dunno y but keep having e feeling like we r not very close even though there's only 8 of us... Haiz... last yr really closer though got 20 0ver ppl.. Haiz.. Really shi bai... maybe cuz i really tuo li u all too long le ba..

Haiz... seriously speaking, CCS used to be one of e lessons i looked forward to going e most... Now, however, i tend to try n "escape" whenever possible.. no longer haf e chong jing of together as 1.. dunno y oso... Got no more sense of 归属感.. N i juz can't seem to settle down in 张老师 class.. Not like when wif 阿亮... I really enjoyed every drama class then.. Owaes can't wait for wednesday to come... Now... Haiz.. 别提了.. I really gif up liao.. HAIZ....

=====================================================================

Hurt

我记得那时候你不让我牵你的手
激动得我快疯像掉进一个无底的洞

苦笑都带点痛自从你什么都不留给我追究
躲在我的背后亲手用温柔交换的这一场恶梦

Oh Baby Why Would You Hurt Me So Long
hurt me so long 这一个人不该是我

Oh Baby Why Would You Hurt Me So Long
Please Let Me Know 难过是你留给我的线索

苦笑都带点痛自从你什么都不留给我追究
躲在我的背后亲手用温柔交换的这一场恶梦

Oh Baby Why Would You Hurt Me So Long
Hurt Me So Long 这一个人不该是我

Oh Baby Why Would You Hurt Me So Long
Please Let Me Know 难过是你留给我的线索
莫非我的举动成了你的苦衷
才暗示我的所有你宁愿没有经过
爱预付得太多不是没有想过最愚笨的会是我
Oh Baby Why Would You Hurt Me So Long
Hurt Me So Long 这一个人不该是我

Oh Baby Why Would You Hurt Me So Long
Please Let Me Know 难过是你留给我的线索
Why Would You Hurt Me So Long
Hurt Me So Long 这一个人不该是我

Baby Why Would You Hurt Me So Long
Please Let Me Know 难过是你留给我的线索

bored....

2005-12-09T13:53:00.000+08:00

Hiyaz... I juz started reading the books i borrowed frm e national library.. Ya, it's been pretty long.. Haha.. But didn't feel like reading when i borrowed them.. Since these few days in no mood to do anything so juz read lor... Well... I finished reading 1 book, n it was nice... Very typical love story.. But had some other things inside.. Like family, etc... Mm... Cried alot while reading the book... Tears juz keep falling.. Very typical of me though... I watch tv cry, movie, books n mtv oso.. Haha.. 泪腺发达 is lidat de la... Like on wed nite.. I watch de 乾隆王朝 oso cry... Esp de part when he shen got news abt 乾隆's death n went crashing into e hall... Wa.. i cry like dunno wad.. Haiz...

Mm... Dunno wad to write liao.. Tt's y keep putting up lyrics.. haha.. tt's some kind of update oso ba.. At least nv leave it hanging there... Haha.. As such, i shall update another set of lyrics.. Haha..

管不着

一个姓名遥远又熟悉
朋友偶尔提起居然还在意
也许只是天气让我有点忧郁
也许在我心底你从来不曾真的离去
只是你的一切我再也管不着
不能管你喝了几杯心情好不好
身上穿的什么颜色也不是我来挑
亲吻的味道也变了你已把我忘掉
是你的一切我再也管不着
你不在我的怀抱不稀罕我的好
不能照顾你的人生不能敲你的门
如果说遗憾我承认但你已陌生

一段感情只剩下话题
不敢思索过去和你的甜蜜
那双天真眼睛有没有人会珍惜
最爱的小点心她会不会学着去料理
只是你的一切我再也管不着
不能管你喝了几杯心情好不好
身上穿的什么颜色也不是我来挑
亲吻的味道也变了你已把我忘掉
是你的一切我再也管不着
你不在我的怀抱不稀罕我的好
不能照顾你的人生不能敲你的门
如果说遗憾我承认但你已陌生

怎能把我忘掉

I　miss　you

2005-12-06T13:20:00.000+08:00

好想你

I　miss　you
I miss you
好想你喔

Hi my one and only　这么多天没见
可是我总想起你的声音　在我耳边
今天心情好吗　是否不愉快
要一切都看得开　世界没有太坏
虽然不在你身边　我的心有一条线
连着你　牵着你
好想你　想到愿意相信
我就闭上了眼睛　你在这里
别忘记　我们的约定
一直都在我心里
不管你在哪里　不要忘了我有多么爱你

不要忘了吃饭　不管有多忙
不要忘了开车时候　一定要往前看
其实我真的很快乐　有你一直守候
一直走到了以后都挽着你的手
虽然不在你身边　但我在你心里面
我愿意　等着你
我好想你　想到不能呼吸
想到全身没力气　没有关系
你别忘记　我们的约定
一直都在我心里
不管你在哪里　不要忘了我有多么爱你

我一直在这里　不要忘了我有多么　爱你

depressed.... =X

2005-12-06T11:59:00.000+08:00

Been rather depressed lately.. Dunno y oso.. Juz not in e right mood... Of cuz my mum doesn't noe abt it.. cuz it happens only when i'm alone... Or in e bus.. She's used to me being dreamy in e bus cuz she tot it's a way i use to curb motion sickness.. So she doesn't read too much into it when i'm in a daze.. (which i think is a gd thing cuz dun wan her to noe so much...)

Mm... Been thinking abt alot of things lately.. Too much in fact.. dun feel like toking too much abt it... Haiz... N my mummy's been falling sick pretty frequent these days.. ever since we came back frm genting.. Hope she'll be ok soon... *shoo all e stupid diseases n sickness*

n my holly hw.... Haiz.. haven touched anithing yet... (bad ger!!) my notes still wif mindy.... so can't do anithing... *sobs* then there's chinese project.. WHEN E HELL R WE EVER GONNA DO IT??!! Mindy says she'll contact me tt day after she contact e others, but there has been no news since then.. Dun wanna get bombed on e first day of sch u noe...

Aiya.. wadever.. i dunno la.. no mood to think abt these la... Ok la.. tt'll be all ba... Haiz...

I Think Of You

2005-12-03T16:38:00.000+08:00

I Think Of You

When I'm down and all alone
When nothing seems to matter
When I lose my hope
When I'm sad and confused
When it all gets turned around and 'round
I can't seem to reach for solid ground
When everything I've believed in seems untrue
All I have to do

[Chorus]
Is think of you I think of you and it's gone
Like you chase away the storm
Making it all okay
I think of you
I think of you and I'm strong
And I know I can go on
It's like you set me free
When life gets the best of me
I just think of you

Now I know what love means
And whatever life may hold for me
Through the fire
Through the rain I believe
Cause there's nothing I can't bear
Knowing that you will be there
If I fall I won't break
Through it all I'll make it through
Cause all I have to do
[Chorus]

And when I think I'm all alone
I can't see the way to go
Lost in the rain of my own tears
To wash away the pain and fear
[Chorus]

For the good times and the bad times
I just think of you
Cause you know you get the best of me
I just think of you

sth wrong somewhere??

2005-11-29T18:24:00.000+08:00

Haven been feeling well lately.. b4 genting n now.. B4 genting i oready told someone it wasn't my intention to go n thus not at all excited abt it.. but he said i shld cherish e opportunity as not everyone has e chance to go, which is quite true.. I listened to him n tried to be excited, at least in front of my parents.. Cuz it's been a long time my dad took leave to bring us out n didn't wanna disappoint them..

But, it wasn't at all enjoyable( if u had read abt e previous entry).. Had motion sickness n vomitted e way up n down.. So horrible.. N now, after e trip, I'm sick.. No, not in e brain, (cuz it's nv been normal since e day i started schooling..) but in physically n emotionally.. Dunno y my waist started aching since i woke up in e morning.. N i having sore throat n headache.. Haiz everything comes together.. Think i'll be bed ridden soon...

Hmm... Y am i saying all these? i dunno.. i really dunno.. I think sth is wrong somewhere (maybe up there) or am i juz hoping someone sees this.. Haha.. Who is tt someone? does tt someone even exists? Even if he does, will he even care or juz remain speechless? Ok, i'm mad... I really am.. Beware ppl, beware...

Oh well.. i think i'm pretty irritating ( read not only e first word, but both) here.. owaes 报忧不报喜.. Forever complaining.. Tt's y i ever had e tot to leave this blog alone.. But i juz cldn't do it.. Esp when i having bad mood or wad.. then i'll turn to my blog.. Cuz i lonely ma.. If i dun come here, soon i'll get depression like wad my tutor says.. At least this is one of my 管道 to 发泄..

我累了，真的累了。。。成天在人前嬉戏玩闹，把自己变得和疯婆子一样，你以为我不累吗？无时无刻都有人在留意我的一举一动，到底何时我才能悠悠自在地显露我伤心难过的一面?
人人都戴着面具过每一天。而我，也不例外。摘下面具后的我到底是怎么样的一个人？我想，连我自己也不太清楚。

你是我心中一句惊叹，而我却只是你生命中的一个过客。

.::WhAt HuRtS tHe MoSt::.

2005-11-28T17:36:00.000+08:00

.::WhAt HuRtS tHe MoSt::.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house,
That don't bother me.
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out,
I'm not afraid to cry.
Every once in a while,
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me,
There are days,
Every now and again,
I pretend I'm ok, but that's not what gets me.
What hurts the most,
Was being so close,
And having so much to say,
And watching you walk away,
And never knowing,
What could have been.
Not seeing that love in you,
Is what I was trying to do.
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go,
But I'm doing it.
It's hard to force that smile when I see your old friends and I'm alone,
Still harder
Getting up, getting dressed,
Dealing with this regret.
But I know if I could do it over,
I would trade,
Give away,
All the words that I say,
Through my heart that I left unspoken.

Isn't this very touching n 诗情画意？Hehe.. This is stolen frm poonie's blog... Sorry poonie, dun be angry... =P

I'm back... Frm Genting...

2005-11-28T00:27:00.000+08:00

Yoyo... I back frm Genting le.. But...... It was damn horrid.. I had to be baby sitter up there... Help my dad's colleague look after his 3 kids while they went to e casino... WTF..

Nv had such bad exp being baby-sitter sia... E 3 kids super duper hyper... I think is bcuz they nv been on holiday b4 ba.. E eldest one is a ger, Grace, 10 yrs (she's very tie xin n takes great care of her younger sis), then followed by a guy, joseph, 8 yrs (this is SUPER DUPER HYPER CUM GANGSTER) n e youngest is another ger, Crystal, 6 yrs (now this is a CUTE lil ger)

Oh well... My bro n i had to take care of these 3 kids since day 1.. They really glued themselves to us... of cuz we got to noe them earlier on le.. but not close at all.. juz acquaintances.. However, we became more shou on e way up genting... So later on, wherever we went, we'd be holding 3 kids' hands n i think we looked weird.. The kids r cute, but they really very difficult to look after.. ESP joseph... Kaoz.. He really damn gangster la.. Bring them go arcade, he everything oso wanna play, but prob is... He doesn't noe how to play any of them.. We explained to him nicely tt it'd be a waste of $$ if he didn't noe how to play... So we suggested sth easier to start wif.. BUT... He juz walked away n started throwing tantrums n showed us black face.. Kaoz... He juz kept wandering away frm us n mind u... We were not familiar wif genting at all la... Even though i 18 liao i oso dun haf e ben shi to gif birth to another son for HIS parents lor... Nt to mention tt there isn't even a "father" to let a "baby" be produced.. Think i wad? Wonder woman? Or 圣母玛丽娅?? Plz ah.. i not tt capable to be a virgin mother k... Somemore, wif e 3 kids ard.. we looked like their parents la.. then in e end oso got no time to look for motivation.. haha.. *winks to those who noe e joke*

Oops.. Sorry... Absolutely no 宗教歧视 here.. Juz stating a fact...(though it's pretty crude..) N i think someone wld think it isn't very nice for a ger to "write" in this way.. Well.. Tt's me.. haha...

Aniway, back to topic... My bro n i were really shagged juz after 1 day of looking after e 3 monkeys.. Thus, our day 2 was spent in e hotel room directly after breakfast... Hehe... U r right!! We spent e day SLEEPING all e way frm 10:30am to 5pm... Haha.. Piggies rule!! Mmm... After tt went for early dinner n went "rackey" ard to look for souveneirs to buy... But... Like i said... I got no $$ n my mum simply refused to pay for us first... therefore we bought nth... Sorry guys.. So paisei...

Then after tt, my dad's colleague sent his kids back to e hotel to slp while e rest of us (excluding my bro) went to SAFARI... a disco or pub? i dunno... Haha.. was my very first time in this kind of place but there's no fun at all... I was wif a bunch of old ppl (my parents n my dad's colleague+wife) who simply refused to fang xia mian zi to get on e floor until they all were a lil tipsy... I was e only one who's totally sober of cuz... (do u suppose i'd be allowed to drink while my mum's ard?) Well.. we kinda chionged until 3 am b4 going back to e rm.. E only fun part was seeing my dad dance.. He was making a fool of himself (as usual) but he suddenly plucked up some courage to get down into e 舞池 n he started dancing... n even competed against..... AN INDIAN GUY!!! OMG... We all cld see tt he was tipsy... N my mummy made fun of him by saying tt he cld only attract ppl of e same sex n ah gua... Simply bcuz his 磁场 only appeals to them n not to e opposite sex.. Haha..

Ok.. It's kinda bad.. But tt's really e case.. My daddy nv seem to attract females... wif my mummy as an exception..(which is y until now i simply haf no idea which part of my dad appeals to my mummy...) Wahaha!!

When we finally came back, we were given a damn bus tt broke down half way.. It was 1 hr late when it came to pick us.. (supposed to cum at 2, but didn't see it until 3) Then after tt e water pipe broke n we were stranded at some ulu place along e road in m'sia for at least 1 n a 1/2 hr w/o aircon... When it was finally repaired(we tot), it went on for less than 1/2 hr n had to stop to refill water... So all in all, we were late by 5 whole bloody hrs.. (supposed to reach home at 11:30pm but reached at 3 am instead.. wonderful?) Thank god we ate when they gave us toilet break at an eatery..

I noe it's a super long entry.. but there's nth else to tell u all le..

Except tt... I cut my hair le!! Yup! It's true.. Ppl who've known me long enough all noe tt my hair is my bao bei (simply bcuz it takes ages to grow) n tt i nv cut my hair except when i'm in a bad mood... And.. To those who've been constantly
keeping themselves updated abt wad's happening here... U all shld noe e reason le ba... HAIZ..... Okie lah.. Dun tok abt it le.. This is getting real LONGgggggg

KKz.. tata...

bad day...

2005-11-20T14:43:00.000+08:00

Helo.. i back again.. Hehe.. As u all noe.. i come here only COMPLAIN nia.. So today.. as usual.. Bleh..

Today's a bad day.. i noe it's only 2pm.. But i dun give a damn..Early in e morning kena scolded by my parents.. For wad damn bloody reason, i dunno.. Only noe tt they juz nag n nag say i lazy, blah blah blah... Cuz i nv iron THEIR clothes.. (okay, tt's e truth, but mine wasn't ironed by them either..) Bleh... Then e most dl part is tt they were onli targeting at me la.. Kaoz.. My bro was like GLUED to e PS since he woke up n hadn't changed or wad either.. But they juz conveniently targetted at me.. maybe cuz only i was visible to them? or cuz i'm e ger so i'm SUPPOSED to do everything in e hse?

Hello... Not tt i nv do anything k.. I did STH.. At least i mopped n vacuumed e hse yesterday... But who appreciated it?? NOBODY kz... My mum even suspected whether i even did e job at all lor.. Wasn't tt wonderful?? Actualli.. i think my dad bombed me cuz he was clothesless liao lah.. As in he got no uniform, no shirt n no trousers to wear le... But tt's not my problem wad.. He nv mention anithing.. So how was i supposed to noe?? I got no bionic eyes n neither am i his wife lor.. Ermmm.... even his wife, who is my mum, oso nv noticed ba... =P Or..... Did she do it on purpose? Telling him it's time he learnt how to do his own ironing when he's clothesless?? Hehe..

Well wadever e case, he did not catch e ball at all.. So poor me.. kena hong zha by both of them... N i cldn't be bothered.. Cuz my dad asked me to stay at home n finish ironing all e clothes or all of us will have no clothez to wear when we go genting... Plz la.. THEY r e ones w/o clothes.. Not me k... So y am i supposed to stay home alone to help them iron while they all go out?? So Sorry sia.. Connie Heng will nv do this kind of sai gang one lor... Y should i stay home n iron while they go out n enjoy?? Bleh... This kind of 吃亏 job 我才不干呢！！

Ok la... this is getting super long.. Shall stop here le.. tata..

i'm so lonely................

2005-11-18T22:52:00.000+08:00

Whew.. Been bz these few days.. Bon econs lecture to help out in temple for e past few days.. but was really sick on monday.. Diarrhea..(is tt how u spell??) Haha.. Today oso nv go for geog.. Sure die de.. Haiz.. Bo bian.. my auntie come visit.. then cramp like siao.. Horrigible..

Aniway e temple thingy today finish le.. so i not needed there oso.. then juz rot at home e whole day.. damn sianz sia... He vanished for so many days finally call me le.. Haiz.. e past few days he only ask me look after my cousin.. of cuz until now still is la.. n i definitely will de.. if i bu teng or zhao gu her who else will?? Haiz..

Oh well... He finally zheng zhong tell me le.. I mentioned b4 liao.. ActuallyI knew it when he told me e story when he buanged e first time liao.. I juz didn't want to face it... now da jia dou ming bai le.. Haha.. might as well.. He ask me to treat him as a passer by, but he shld noe it's gonna be pretty hard.. n still ask me look for him when i lonely or sad.. Haha.. so contradicting.. Hmmm...

I'm really sorry i brought u so much trouble.. I didn't mean it.. Of cuz i didn't expect u'll read my entries too.. Haha.. Nvm ba.. Wad's done cannot be undone aniway... Isn't it better we made things clear??

你不希望再伤害我，却不知道那对我是更大的伤害。

你要我把你当成行人是因为要我把你忘记，还是因为我和她们一样，只是你生命中毫不起眼的过客？

我已经压抑很久了，也应该够了吧？最起码，在人群的这几天里我已经尽力掩饰了，不是吗？

**给你的心不要你还痛不要你偿
陪你走过一段七情六欲全都品尝
爱你的苦不要你扛泪不要你挡
七情六欲打翻笑着哭哭着笑去想你的模样

ah ma's gone le..

2005-11-12T13:26:00.000+08:00

Hi peeps... I'm back le.. My ah ma's gone le.. She passed away on monday at 6 am, wif no one beside her... Haix.. Now all her funeral n stuff has been done liao.. But against her wishes... She didn't jiao dai anithing, no will or wad.. So e sons had to make e decision for her.. She wanted some 风光大葬 kind of thing n place her ashes at 光明山, right beside my auntie.. But in e end, my 3rd uncle decided on a christian funeral simply cuz its quiet n simple.. N oso cuz they knew nth abt e traditional chinese funeral.. Haix..

In e end my 6th uncle, who's e only christian, oso knew nth abt christian funeral... Wonderful huh?? Aniway, many of us were damn pissed wif e bastard pastor who keeps preaching at both e 安息礼拜 n 火化场.. Everyone was damn pissed off wif all his bloody stories tt has nth to do wif my grandma or e ceremony..

Haix.. dun wanna tok abt it le.. Sad n sianz...

Wad's e problem wif me??!!!!!! I dunno.. I really dun..

2005-11-04T20:24:00.000+08:00

Hi.. I'm back le.. Sorry peeps, haven been blogging since i got back my results.. Mm.. was promoted lor.. but i think i haven worked hard enuff.. quite disappointed wif my results actually..

CLA -- C
Econs -- E
Geog -- O
GP -- C6

Another thing.. I apologise to hui fang n nana n e whole of 05A7B for my absence both today n for class outing.. I'm really sorry.. My ah ma's in very critical condition n e doctor says she's juz waiting for time n wld go anytime.. So my mummy n i haf been going to e hospital n visit her as frequently as we can.. Hmm.. Feeling kind of sad n depressed.. but i dunno how to say oso.. Haiz..

I oso dunno y i haf tt kind of feeling leh.. I've nv been close wif my ah ma n e most memory i haf wif her is tt she's owaes holding on to a cane n waiting to whack me n my 3 other cousins cuz we r e elders amongst e kids in her hse... When i heard e news frm e doctor n xian cai ya( a deity tt we owaes go to) tt she's on her way, my tears juz welled up n flowed.. but my mummy like got no feel at all n can still joke n say i'm sha gua.. maybe cuz she had herself prepared for this day to come since my ah ma had a relapse of stroke ba.. Haiz..

Actually, i think i'm more of gek sim for my ah ma more than sadness ba.. She's got 9 kids, including my mummy.. But eversince she's been going in n out of hospital like daily routine, none of her children seem to feel anything, not even to e news tt she's going soon.. I feel it's so unfeeling of her children.. No matter how she treated them when they were young, she bi jing is their mummy ba.. I really dun understand how they can juz brush off e news when we ask them to visit her wif juz 3 words (busy, no time).. I really dun...

I can only say she's juz unlucky to have them as her children ba... No family ties or bonding.. Only got distrust among brothers, one looking down on others or simply juz no hiu.. Haiz... Wad a family!! Only now do i understand e 俗语 of 久病无孝子..

Then there's another thing.. ly contacted me a few days ago.. (finally.. last time was during promos n i was e one who look for him first) But.. now, i no longer haf tt kind of excitedness in me when i receive his msg or call le.. E feeling is juz like when any normal fren contact me.. Dunno y i become lidat leh... I noe i said i'll wait for him de.. But.. Haiz.. I dunno la..

Is it bcuz Mikado has already walked into my life without myself noticing? I seem to be waiting for him to call or msg everyday.. Y lidat??? I haf told myself time n again not to step in but y did it still happen? I keep telling ppl i 看破红尘, but still i haf stepped in.. 这是哪门子的看破尘啊??!!
My mummy has set e rule n told me very clearly tt i muz not haf any bf until after 21 n i haf reassured her tt i wld not breach this rule, but y am i thinking of such things now? Shldn't i be concentrating on how to mugg for my A's nxt yr?? Wad on earth am i thinking??? I really dunno n i'm really confused..

I told myself to keep my distance since we met.. I haf owaes been keeping my hands to myself but he told me not to.. He said tt i haf been scalded my e kettle once does not mean tt all e other kettles out there r hot.. I tried to believe him nslowly reached out my hand to e kettle in front of me.. But i was too slow.. someone took e kettle n I was scalded again.. Not very seriously, as i was e one who asked him to keep his options open... Was disappointed n sad.. He said he would take the step into e sea wif me n was e one who gave me e courage to step in.. But he finally said sth tt really left me not noeing wad to do.. he said he wld nv accept a ger whom he has hurt once as he wldn't want to hurt her a 2nd time... It was not his fault, though he keeps reproaching himself... Was i wrong to step in then??

Wad's e problem wif me??!!!!!! I dunno.. I really dun..

有望的等待会是人生的原动力，而漫长又无望的等待只会带来永无止境的痛苦，也会是精神上的虐待。Should i still wait then? Or should i be wad i owaes tell my cousin, juz let e boat sink n hope tt it is slowly sinking as everyday passes?? HAIZ.............

Promo results coming out.... Aargh...

2005-10-28T09:54:00.000+08:00

Heyz! After a long break, I'm finally back in sch.. Haiz.. Yup.. I'm back to get my Promos results.. Hmm.. Juz heard frm e kids tt our CLA tutors r not going to follow us up.. So sad.. So up till now, ALL our tutors have been changed except Geog.. Haiz.. So pathetic.. I certainly hope ms tang wld follow us up.. Wldn't noe wad wld happen if she's no longer our tutor.. (oh pls.. Dun let tt happen...)

Haiz.. Anyway, I'm now spending my time in e library cuz e kids haf gone for their mental skills training for e OP of their PW.. (so sad) Shldn't haf come to sch early in e morning.. Waste my time.. 1st 2 periods is GP correction lecture for compre of our promos, of which less than half of e entire Lt is listening to wad was being said (haha.. of cuz i was part of e majority..)

Yupx.. Juz had my brunch n will be going for principal's talk followed by e dreadful promos results in abt an hour's time.. Haiz.. Now i oso very confused.. To celebrate when i'm promoted or when i'm expelled.. Ya.. I noe u all muz be thinking i'm mad.. But seriously, i not so keen in being promoted after i knew tt all our tutors wld be changed to some other FaRnI tutors.. (of cuz, i noe changes r inevitable, but zhe ye wei mian tai drastic le ba..) If they changed e not so well-liked tutors of cuz everyone wld celebrate, but now, they r changing e nice n well-liked tutors to some either unheard or totally well DISliked tutors.. (ahem.. do i need to spell it out? mm.. I think we r all smart enough to noe who he/she is ba??)

Aniways.. E results wld be out real soon n i certainly hope tt e whole class wld be promoted together.. (been retained n i realli disliked e feeling of being left behind...) Hope no one in e class wld be left out though i noe nana n Huifang quite dangerous.. (Jia you gers!! I'll owaes be there for u ppl de..) Hm... A lil disappointment though.. Mikado said he wld pei me after i get my results today, but last nite he suddenly said he cldn't make it.. Haiz.. nvm ba.. Wad to do? I'll face it myself... (Dun be surprised if any of u can't find me after results r taken...) If i rmb correctly, results will be out by 1245 pm.. Do look out for e news headlines to see a familiar face ba.. kkz.. tt'll be all...

Oh.. N juz being suspicious.... I think my mum has seen my lil diary at home n might have shared it wif SOMEONE... Well.. i juz hope tt whoever has read my blog will keep things to ourselves n not say ANYTHING to my mum.. Or else... I wldn't noe wad i wld do to our relationship shld i find out WHO did it...

PS: Lac la.. Not trying to scare or threaten anybody la... Juz a reminder.. N rmb: 平日不做亏心事，夜半敲门心不惊！So, no worries... If u 行得正, 做得直，then no need to 杯弓蛇影.. Unless... Wahaha..

a poem to share...

2005-10-24T14:20:00.000+08:00

《错误》郑愁予

我打江南走过，

那等在季节里的容颜如莲花的开落。

东风不来，三月的柳絮不飞，

你底心如小小寂寞的城，

恰若青石街道向晚。

跫音不响，三月的春帷不揭，

你底心是小小的窗扉紧掩。

我达达的马蹄是美丽的错误，

我不是归人，是个过客。

sad n lonely

2005-10-18T11:39:00.000+08:00

Got back all our promo results yesterday.. Was real horrible.. Deproved a lot.. Was really really upset n disappointed esp for my Geography.. I put in so much time n effort n yet my results were so horrible.. Even my economics which i didn't really prepare scored better... I hope i wld be promoted this time round.. Or else i really have no where to go le (out of e sch)..

Results are as follows:
Economics E
Geography F
CLA E

Haiz.. really nv scored so badly for my geog before lor.. So when i saw my results, my heart really sank to e bottom... Was trying really hard not to cry in e LT but when i saw Ms Tang come over, i knew i wld break down.. So i was praying real hard for her not to come over, or juz start lecturing me.. But she didn't (as expected...) Instead, she came over, hugged n comfort me.. Wa.. can't stand it le.. So i juz let my tears flow while i was in her arms... She encouraged me n said tt e improvement in grades comparing this yr n last yr were already a great step forward n e fact tt i cry for my results show tt i have put in alot of time n effort n tt she has seen it.. Therefore, she emphasized tt i muz not give up at this juncture..

This is really e very first time in my life tt i did not get scolded by my subject teacher cuz i got poor results for tt particular subject.. I feel tt Ms Tang really connects to us n understand our situation as students e best.. N i really really thank her for tt.. She is oso e only teacher tt openly shows her love n concern for her students in e sch (as in among all my class tutors lah...) She has her principles when it comes to hw, but care n concern for all of us nv fade de.. However, it is bcuz of all these tt made me feel e worst when i saw my bloody results for geog.. I feel tt i am such a disapointing student n so 对不起 her.. I haf 辜负her expectations n my own effort...

Besides Ms tang, i am thankful for xiaoying n lynette for being there for me.. Yup.. they r my best sisters!! ( though we seem to haf drifted abit, i still feel u gers r e best nonetheless..) Ms Tang told us to get away frm e sch n to give ourselves a break n we did juz tt after nana 平复her心情 (tt's another long story which i think i better not say)... We went to toa payoh to haf Swensens.. Initially only wanted to eat ice-cream, but in e end we had baked rice n earthquake n fries... Oops.. i forgot to mention who went.. Ok.. There's xiaoying, lynette, nana, eunice n me.. but nana only stayed 5 mins in Swensens cuz she meeing her mummy.. Then came xiaoying's supposed "boyfren" Ivan.. Another funny guy, tt mix well wif us.. Haha..
Yups... I had a wonderful time n really forgot abt my sad results for tt moment... Thx gers!! Lurve Ya lots!!

Well.. it was a different story when i went home.. Everybody was so quiet, doing their own things (my mum lock herself in e room n my bro stuck to e com) as usual.. N e funny thing was tt my bro warned me not to step on my mum's tail as she was in super bad mood.. Pls la.. since e translation thingy, she hasn't spoken or even looked at me in e eye la.. So why shld i be aware of her.. Chey!

Ok.. back to topic.. Since there was nth for me to do, i lied down on e floor in my room, in total darkness (lights wasn't on la), alone... Juz then, Mikado called.. Twice, in fact, but i didn't pick up, didn't call back nor msg.. (i juz switched on my hp when i reach home.. wanted some peace, tt's all) Then went to take a bath.. Spent a really long time.. But nobody cared.. Should say nobody notice even.. It was a huge surprise when i'm finally done.. Daddy was back.. Real early last nite, abt 7 plus or 8.. He bought food for my mum n bro n wanted me to share food wif my mum cuz she couldn't finish.. but i was too full liao..

Haiz.. I was exceptionally quiet last nite, but nobody noticed, n nobody cared.. I tried to say sth to her, but she treated me as invisible.. disappointed, i went back to my own room n decided tt i shld sleep instead.. Kai tian called.. she repeated 3 times tt Mikado had been looking for me.. Since wad time? I dunno n cldn't be bothered to ask last nite.. Then he called again.. I hesitated n reluctantly picked it up.. He said he was worried cuz he cldn't find me.. Haiz.. But i juz told him i needed some time alone.. He was kind n didn't probe further, n we ended e conversation..

Then tears started flowing.. For wad? I dunno.. Maybe my results, maybe for my insignificance to my family.. Even Mikado, my classmates n Ms Tang cared.. They r not my family, though i consider them to be of more importance than FAMILY.. N yet they showed their concern.. Where is my so called FAMILY then? Nobody, juz simply NOBODY noticed tt i was so quiet, so down n depressed.. Maybe bcuz i was in e room ba, but did they even care to peep into e room juz to make sure i was ok? NO!! I juz kept crying to myself n wishing so hard tt there wld be at least someone to give me a hug or lend me their shoulders.. Juz where r my family members when i needed them e most?? I really wld like to noe...

I couldn't rmb when i actually fell asleep, but i guess it's bcuz i'm tired of all tt crying n juz dozed off.. I practically juz cried myself to sleep last nite.. I think i cried really too much.. Was having such a sore throat when i woke up this morning.. Haiz.. This is getting long.. Think i shld stop here le ba..

PS:
I'm really grateful to those who stand by me n believed in me, giving me ur care n comfort when i needed u e most.. Thanx a million to Ms Tang, xiaoying n lynette.. Lurve Ya!!
N to Mikado.. I'm really very sorry to haf made u worried n apologise for my coldness towards u last nite..

a lil disappointment

2005-10-13T19:50:00.000+08:00

Rmb i told u me go out wif cousin n fren? Haha.. was actually her fren la.. but now we r frens.. He's called Mikado.. Wait.. mm.. maybe benny or danny (ah i dunno.. juz noe it's sth tt ends wif "ny" ba) if i nv hear wrongly yesterday.. I oso dunno which is e real name.. so dun ask me k.. Aniway, we went to watch the corpse bride.. Nice show.. Haha, ya i noe.. after more than half a yr i finally watched one.. (last one was house of fury..)

Well, he's a nice guy.. very frenly n funny.. (as in humorous if tt's how u spell it..) So going out wif him was fun n i laughed so much i almost had stomach cramps.. Most importantly, there's so much resemblance in mikado n lye yong (of cuz not in looks but in character n ways of speech.. if not i think i'll ask ly to check properly whether he got lost twin..) Haiz.. so tt day was full of laughters, embarassment (cuz my cousin keep trying to put us together) n a lil bit of yi han oso..(cuz bi jing he not ly no matter how much resemblance) Haiz.. hope we can still be frens no matter wad happens.. (pray hard ba connie..)

Actually we planning to go out again on saturday de.. but too bad he last minute got to work.. Nvm, there's owaes a nxt time aniway.. haha.. Ok.. i think this shld be enuff.. 2 posts for e day liao..

wasted day in sch...

2005-10-13T18:58:00.000+08:00

Yoz peeps.. i'm back.. Purposely went back to sch to prepare for our open hse tml.. Didn't go for e meeting yesterday n was thinking tt after 1 whole day, they surely muz have done "something".. In the end, notice board not done n neither was e CCA room.. Luckily they managed to come up wif a rough script of wad they wanted to act for e performance slot tml.. Otherwise, i think all of us wld be slaughtered..

Was still thinking whether i should go today or juz stay at home to accompany kai tian(my cousin).. Well, i asked her to stay over for a few days since i had so many free days after promos(at least i tot i need not go back to sch).. Suddenly, i was asked to be in sch by 8:30 am this morning..(haha but i was late) Wanted to try n smuggle kai tian into e sch, but jie said better not cuz mr ng wld be there too..(in e end he only came for like 5 secs n disappeared..) No choice, i had to leave in the hse wif my mum alone..

Not tt i want to say, but thank god me n weiyi went today.. Weiyi was e one who decorated e notice board la.. Halo.. it was supposed to be fiona's job since she's e 文长 in charged of both notice board n 棕榈 .. but in e end me, tian2, fiona n most importantly Weiyi managed to do up e notice board.. Seriously i feel it is a wasted day cuz most of e time i'm so 废 la.. machiam extra lidat.. cuz they nv plan exactly who is supposed to do wad.. go there @ 9 plus then in end spend at least 2 hrs klkk dunno do wad.. Kaoz.. Then somemore i dunno y very moody today, then got mood swinging here n there.. so mang zang..

Then ah.. there are 2 very very important ppl i muz mention.. they ah.. wa piang.. keep bringing piles of boards n dunno wad in n out of e canteen make themselves look nachiam very bz lidat, but in e end nth except hanging a few posters is done.. they noe who they r.. plz la.. i see liao oso pek chek sia.. dunno ask me go there for wad.. N they wanted me to buy e 麦芽糖 n chopsticks last nite.. Walau.. Heng ah.. Luckily i nv buy if not i kana shoot go holland ah.. Last minute Mr. Ng say we got no booth, only performance n notice board.. Heng sia.. if not i cry ah.. who gonna pay me for all e things n where i supposed to leave it sia..

But all in all we at least managed to do e notice board la.. then e room we left it to fiona n tian2 go do.. Of cuz can see their du lan face la.. but too bad lor.. we non comm members already help them do so much liao, wad more they wan? Somemore i seriously dunno wad they have contributed to other than carrying e posters, hanging them up n picking up rubbish lah.. (Eh.. actually haf lah.. They contribute quite a lot of complaints n helped e actors buy lunch la)

Promos over!!

2005-10-10T11:15:00.000+08:00

Woohoo... Promos finally finish liao n i noe it's been real long since i last blogged.. Didn't really haf e chance to use e com esp at home.. My bro forever ba zhan e com to play fairyland.. Though i'm older, it doesn't give me any privilege.. Cuz e dumb com is in his room..

Anyway, i didn't really feel tt high after promos.. No mood actually.. 1 day before human geog i quarrelled wif my mum over a tiny thing.. N she's been pissed wif me since then n treated me as though i'm invisible.. Bleh!! Ok, for those who r interested, here's e story..

It all happened on e fateful day b4 human geog (wednesday la).. Juz reached home frm shu yi's hse n was desperately mugging to try n finish e notes.. Then migraine struck me head n i went to take a nap as a short break.. All ofa sudden, my mum juz barged into my room n kicked me on e butt, n almost killed me wif a heart attack (juz imagine u were sleeping n someone juz kicked u all of a sudden).. bloody hell.. my bro's fren was in e hse la.. n my mum juz barged into e room n left e door wide ajar after she left..

Sensing tt sth muz be wrong, i went out to my bro's room wif tt bloody migraine still bugging me.. So, i asked my mum wad happened, n it turned out tt she wanted me to do a direct translation frm chinese to english for her.. Blur, i looked at e monitor for details n found out tt e thing she claimed to be extremely important, was actually a notice she was assigned to type out for e temple tt she is helping out at everyday.. I see her details abit de weird if translated to eng, so i asked y muz translate since e worshippers all old aunties.. (n as if they understand eng at all since some dun even noe mandarin) Then she kept quiet n gave me a super duper black face..

n so i shut up n did e translation in my mind.. But she kept scrolling down.. diaoz!! dunno how i going to read.. Then suddenly saw this part tt was even weirder.. E notice is warning ppl abt swindlers using e temple's name to ask for donation frm e public n asked e public to give e temple a call when they meet e swindlers.. Out of curiousity, i asked my mum this:

"who would call u after they meet e swindlers? u urself wun even do it wad.. somemore ppl usually only donate 2 or 4 bucks nia.. Besides, so wad if they call u? u wun be able to get there in time to catch e swindlers anyway.."

Tt's where e gao chao of e whole thing.. She shrieked at e top of her voice (showing everyone wad "head voice" is) saying tt of cuz she'll call n scolded me! say if i dun wanna help then forget it, she dun need my help, n ask me to shut all e crap!! (fu** la.. if she dun need me wad for wake me up?!) Anyway.. she thinks she's e only one who noes wad "PISSED" is.. Bu t for heaven's sake, i dun give a damn.. She no hiu me is her prob.. i oso no hiu her.. She so ji jiao until dun help me wash clothes, dun care whether i eat n even when it rains, she refused to help me bring in e clothes tt i hand washed.. Wad made me most du lan was e bamboo pole broke liao n was hanging halfway, wif all e clothes drenched n she only knew how to screech at me saying i want to kill ppl dun do at her hse n then juz walked away.. E damn thing was so heavy n she jolly well noes tt i wun be able to bring it up but she didn't care.. So, lan lan i got to do it myself n i nearly plunge down 11 storeys together wif e bamboo pole.. Bloody shit!!

Now, i can't be bothered liaoz.. She can by all means treat me as invisible.. i do e same so long as she dun come rummaging thru my room.. BLEHzzz!!

Okie.. Enough of complaining.. Me going out wif my cousin n our fren to watch movie later.. hope today turns out well to cover for these few days bad mood ba... kkz gtg liaoz.. muz go cook maggie mee to stuff my stomach..

depressed....

2005-09-14T18:49:00.001+08:00

Heyhey.. it's been a long time since i last blogged.. Very lazy la.. This few days dunno wad happen to me.. Kind of feel depressed... Ya, of cuz u all nv notice, cuz i still bring out my craziness n talkative side in sch.. Dun really like to show ppl a "black" face...

Seriously, i dun even noe wad's wrong wif me.. Promos like less than 2 weeks n i nv start studying for any subject except for CLA.. Like juz flip thru abit.. I noe i too slack liao, but juz ti bu qi jing to do any studying.. I dun haf e least bit of fear in me.. It's like... mm..... "Wad's e great big deal abt promos? I took it last yr too.." Yaya.. i noe, this is not e correct mindset.. But.. I oso dunno la.. Even mehmeh start to feel e pressure coming liao.. I still so slack.. Haiz.. Mindy better still seem to fall sick very often recently.. Esp on test days.. =p She juz called me today n say tt she got stomach flu... Mm.. so weird.. Hoining oso ate vegeland in e morning like mindy n i ate KFC wif her yesterday afternoon.. How come only she got problem?? Hm.... (R u thinking wad i'm thinking??)

Another thing.. I keep feeling hungry when i'm in sch esp this 2 days.. Then when i reach home i feel aneroxic... Dunno y.. Then at night I can't get to slp.. Ming ming very tired, but juz can't get to slp.. When i lie on e bed i juz start thinking of him, hoping he'll bring me to e beach n juz lend me his shoulders.. (Hey wake up lah! it wun happen!) Haiz.. Of cuz i noe.. But wad can i do except wait? Poonie say is due to stress.. Haha.. But i dun see myself as "STRESSED" u noe..

Maybe abit of peer pressure cuz everybody seem to be mugging n staying up to study.. I think a better way is to slp on e notes or tear page by page n swallow them.. Maybe that will help.. Or.. Burn into ashes, add some water n drink it up.. Isn't that brilliant?

Aargh.. I really dunno wad i'm doing or thinking.. can anyone recommend a psychiatrist? I think i'm mad.. Please ppl.. Keep one day free to look me up in IMH n bring along wif u some crunchy apples n mint ice-cream.. Thanks a lot!

slacker's life

2005-08-21T16:53:00.001+08:00

Haiz.. Been slacking like mad eversince mid yr's over... Lectures attend oso like nv go.. Can't rmb a single thingy during tutorials.. Die la.. Then got tests coming up for geog n cla, but nv touched anything yet.. hw oso nv do.. damn jia lad.. Somemore promos coming up liao n i nv even start on anything..

Most importantly, i forgot all tt i studied for mid-yr liao.. my geog n all e diagrams, cla n econs theory on elasticities, theory of production.. DIE la.. God oso cannot help me this time... I dunno y got no mood for studies totally leh.. Aiyo..

Another thing.. my best frens now all yr 2, pia for prelims, left me alone in yr 1.. ( I noe still got mindy la but then u all noe la she like social butterfly fluttering ard owaes...) Haiz it's juz different lor.. mindy at least got vry close frens in yr 1 but me?? my class ok la.. i quite close to cai ping n hoi ning.. xiao ying n nett quite close oso la, but they closer to nana.. my OG 4 in 1st 3 mths quite dispersed le.. only jueling, auds, wei jun, xin yu, glyn still super close.. The others see liao got greet but like a bit shu yuan liao..

CCS? Haiz.. dunno wad kind of cca is tt.. 12 ppl.. Kaoz.. Then like e feeling very weird leh.. not like last yr le, we all very close n got a lot of passion.. This yr? Like yi pan san sha leh.. Dunno wad happen oso.. like very dead.. last yr more fun.. more close.. n more nutty.. Haiz i can only say this yr is boring la.. I GIVE UP!!

Poor Jun Yang!! (cursing n swearing kelvins' voters...)

2005-08-19T17:22:00.000+08:00

Noe wad? This means BUSINESS!! Jun Yang is out of Superstar?! Wad the FU*K la.. Regardless of looks or singing, he is THE ONE... YES! The ONE N ONLY superstar... It was obvious tt sth had been done to e votes isn't it? *recalling last nite's live telecast* Juz as jeff was gg to announce Jun Yang as champion, e screen tt had been stagnant for 2 sec suddenly moved n kelvin became e winner.. Oh my!! I was so shocked!!

Seriously speaking, i really am very suspicious as to y singapore voted for kelvin... I believe many of u agree tt JY had more potential n wld make a great star..(probably on equal status wif jj?) So y did kelvin win? After discussions wif my classmates, we came to some conclusions.. (see if u guys agree..)

1. The whole show was a fraud to earn consumers' $$..
2. The ppl in e backstage had their noses in e results..
3. Sympathetic votes? (i believe plenty started since e 1st episode)
4. Singaporeans trying to prove tt they were NOT discriminating against handicapped..
5. Singaporeans voted for e fun of it n waiting to see kelvin make a fool of himself in e indoor stadium..
6. Singaporeans juz wanted to see if it was REALLY THAT FAIR n whether kelvin wld REALLY win e whole competition?
7. Ppl were tired of seeing JY since he already proved to be e best in e eyes of public n judges.
8. They juz wanted to give e handicapped a glimpse of hope n tt they r not useless or a burden to e society.
9. Didn't haf enough of kelvin's yelling n struggling to reach his high notes n pitch in songs?
10. They tot JY wld DEFINITELY get into Grand Finals n tt somebody else wld vote for him n it's enough..

Dun agree wif e above reasons? Tag n drop in some more tt u think is applicable..

Anyway, i cried really hard for JY when he was out.. Much harder than Derrick.. Cuz i noe tt even though Derrick's out, his fan base was already very large.. At least he won e hearts of many le.. But JY? He worked really hard n had been consistent in his performance, but only recently did he gain public's attention n fans.. Wad was really saddening n made me cry tt hard was tt ALL but one of e 24 contestants ran all e way to e platform to celebrate n cheer for e 2 finalists, TOTALLY forgetting abt JY.. He was crying so damn hard lah.. then nobody comforted him except e mysterious friend*winking*... Well, we dunno is he or SHE though.. But together wif his family n fans, they comforted JY.. THIS was wad made my heart sink to e deepest n cried e hardest.. His hardwork was so not worth it.. To think he even had throat infection all becuz of this stupid show... HUMPH!!!!

Therefore, i can only say this: 老天没眼，观众有眼无珠，埋没了一个真正的人才！！

Derrick's out of Superstar... ='(

2005-08-12T18:32:00.000+08:00

Derrick's OUT!! OMG... I can't believe it... really.. Tot he had super fan base of 700?? Wad happened?? Weilian as superstar? I really can't imagine it man... I have nth against e visually impaired, but i really dun think its wise to invest in weilian lor... If he really is e winner, e record company will have to take care of him where ever he goes n make special arrangement for him.. Oso, will he be able to memorise all e lyrics of his songs w/o looking at them? Ok, u might think tt he has oready accomplished tt when he's singing, but e genre of songs he can sing is limited.. Tt's e way e world works.. it's really practical.. He can't do hip hop or any thing tt has dance steps (u can't possible only make him sway frm left to right all e time..) Also, he can't communicate wif his audiences n fans wif his eyes... (it's not enough to communicate thru vocals u noe.. Ya, he can be another ou de yang, dun show his face, but ppl oready noe who he is, so there is no more curiousity.. Oso, do u expect e record company to get him a personal composer n lyricist who can write Braille for him?? Not at all realistic isn't it?

Though so, i muz admit tt he is a better singer than Derrick, even though he didn't really gan dong me wif his songs.. Not as touching as e previous rounds le.. but he did chang chu his xin sheng for e 2nd song.. Perhaps tt's e reason y more ppl vote for him.. Yes, he has fans, but i think more of them is frm aunties who really pity him n like his songs as well.. Of cuz, at this period of time, derrick's fans wld have been drained out of cash.. So, in comparison, aunties who juz heard how weilian sang e oldies wld be soooooo much richer to vote...

However, weilian does not have X factor to be SUPERSTAR.. I dunno, somehow or another, i think his style is rather rigid n so r his songs.. he kind of sticks to unplug songs more.. He can't communicate with everyone when he is on stage n it wun be easy grooming him..

Anyway, i am really very sad tt derrick's out cuz de er fu shi kind of feeling is very nan shou ba.. I really dunno wad to say le.. Derrick, Jia You.. I will always support u de.. Dun gif up.. Dare to dream n continue to pursue ur dream!!

Happy Birthday Singapore!!

2005-08-09T12:53:00.000+08:00

Heyhey.. Singapore 40 yrs old liao.. Heard e fireworks @ 12 am, but it's a pity i can't see it.. Haiz.. i hope tt someday "he" will appear n ask me to watch fireworks, stars, sunrise n sunset together.. OMG, how romantic is tt....

Bleh.. Wishful thinking! okok, let's get to e real topic..

Supposed to haf class outing yesterday after sch, but dunno wad happened only left 9 ppl.. (8 gers, 1 guy) * n who's e lucky one to be surrounded by gers?? * ans: Yan Xing!! Haha.. Anyway, e 9 of us, (me, rindy, si hui, apple, xiuyi, cai ping, hui fang, ying ying n yanxing..) went to eat tom yam bee hoon at e coffeeshop opp Zhong hua sec..

After tt, me, rindy, si hui, kaijia, yingying n hui fang went to suntec..(n planned to go esplanade too) We kept walking to n fro e 2 towers cuz we couldn't decide whether to buy some of e things we saw or not.. Ying ying finally decided to buy her mummy a black Adidas jacket costing $79 (sharing cost wif kor kor lah..) after gg to many different shops.. Then si hui, hui fang n rindy saw this cute 450ml fila bottle n couldn't decide whether to buy or not n wad colour they wanted.. In e end rindy made a choice... E translucent 660 ml bottle.. (Let's celebrate!) *sounds familiar eh?* After tt, we walked abt further n decided to take a peek in watsons.. Then they finally made their mind to buy their fila bottle, n turned back, leaving me, rindy n ying ying to wander into watsons.. When they finally came back, si hui made another choice by buying e black bottle instead of e baby blue one which we all think suits her betta.. Reason? She tot black goes betta wif her green bag.. (really? mmm...)

Ok, then was my turn.. mummy suddenly called n ask me to buy her a red shirt tt is CHEAP ($4-$5).. Halo.. i was in Suntec la, where to find this kind of price.. So we tried looking in bossini (no choice) while looking for hang ten (mission impossible).. Well we walked to n fro e 2 towers dunno how many times, always swinging to n fro after a few steps n mind u, all 6 of us were in this RED t-shirt n sch skirt.. So super AA la.. In e end, after being indecisive for nearly 1 hr (maybe lesser?), I finally decided on Hush hush.. 2 red tees for $19 ... Very cheap liao, but only left wif 2 designs.. Anyway, after trying n discussing, i decided to buy them.. Alas.. sth happened.. i only had $15, so borrowed frm rindy.. so pai sei.. Bleh..

So, after these dilly dallying, we didn't get to go Esplanade to watch sunset.. cuz it was really late liao abt 5+ le.. Haiz... So we went home lor.. i reach home my mummy still complain e clothes too ex.. blah blah blah.. Kaoz.. really can't stand her la..

All in all, i had a wonderful day wif e gers n was really tired.. Haha.. Can go out again wif them nxt time.. Hope will haf e chance!! Last but nt least.. Happy 40th Birthday Singapore!! May you progress n prosper in e future yrs!!

PS: Though i had fun, i missed my chance to go out wif him.. Abit wasted lor (poonie said so too), cuz it's been 2 mths since we met.. n i haven seen his botak head.. heehee.. =P

Where r u??

2005-08-06T21:02:00.000+08:00

It's been ages since u last called... N i rmb vividly it was on 21/07.. I was e one who contacted u first.. I wanted to get us out to celebrate my b'day in advance, but u had sth on.. u said u had confinement camp for a week after tt n we nv contacted each other since then.. I noe we can only be frens, at least this period of time, but juz wanna let u noe tt i really missed u... Though i nv gave u my bloggie, i hope tt someday sometime u will see this somehow... Rmb to take care of urself in camp n note tt wadeva e case, take note tt safety comes first... ='(

tests r killers!!

2005-08-02T18:14:00.000+08:00

Not a very good day today.. had cla p1 test early in e morning n i think i'm gonna fail it.. 理解问答 n 长文缩短 all so difficult.. n my 造句.. haiz.. all die le.. then yesterday's p2? Oso mati liao.. E 原文 i fill in dunno wad rubbish.. then e 语译？ dunno how i translate.. 《打错了》 even worse.. Dun even noe wad e qn want me to write, so i e end i juz crapped n dump anything i can rmb..

Finally finished developing our idea for 中秋 play, but we finished it rather late yesterday.. Haiyo, these few days i super bz wif CCS then very tired everytime i reach home.. Promised pei fen to help her ask e canteen auntie for e 90 packs of water for farewell tml.. But.. In e end i actually forgot all abt it.. Now she gotta go seach on her own.. So so sorry peifen.. *guilty*

Anyway.. Tml got 杨君伟 drama class outdoor.. hope can attract more ppl to come n watch n join CCS.. Otherwise, i really dunno how we can stage 白云岗 '06.. but but but...... we can't go home after CCS tml.. still got to go Plaza Sing to watch a drama on AIDS by 戏剧盒.. OMG!! Dunno wad time i'll reach home tml again.. Haiz...

Ok la.. dun bug u all le.. cya n hope tml be a betta day!! smilez.. *pray hard*

results........ x_x

2005-07-08T13:21:00.000+08:00

Heyz peeps.. Most of my results r out le.. :'( Haiz.. i did quite badly.. Of 3 subjects n GP, I got an 'O' for Econs ( so saddening.. i got study k..), and 'E' for my Geog.. This is really (i mean REALLY) disappointing cuz i really put a lot of effort in studying my geog.. But e problem came when e exam started.. Dunno y i suddenly freaked out n my mind went blank n i can't seem to rmb wad i studied.. Haiz.. I think Ms Tang's equally disappointed cuz I'd been doing rather well for my tutorials n tests n she really expected sth for my mid-yrs.. Haiz.. maybe i juz didn't study hard enuff ba..

U ppl muz be wondering y i say tt rite?? Tt's bcuz yan xing(my classmate) topped my class n all of Ms Tang's class wif a super high 'A' of 93%... Isn't tt amazing?? Anyway, for my 2 other subjects (CLA n GP) haven got back yet.. CLA only noe half e paper (P2) n out of 30 ppl in e class (7A n 7B combine), only 7 passed.. All 7 were frm 7B n i'm 1 of e lucky ones.. However, it's only 24.5 out of 50 n i haf e confidence tt when i get back my other half of e paper (P1) on nxt monday, it'll probably even out to be an 'O'..

Haiz... As u all noe, my GP sux like hell n i most prob going to end up wif D7 again lor.. Ok.. I confess.. I'm juz too lazy to read e papers n i listen only to chinese news... (My parents, esp my mum doesn't understand e news caster's english..) This kind of grades really damn demoralising lor.. I got study, really... (cross my heart n swear to die if i lie..) At this rate i going to die for promos AGAIN for sure liao.. (X_X) HAIZ......

He's injured, but doesn't care much..

2005-07-05T09:50:00.000+08:00

Hiz.. I'm here to 发牢骚 again.. He called me last night.. but i was at some temple's dinner n wasn't able to hear my hp ringing.. Haiz.. He injured himself AGAIN.. Juz went into NS on 10/6/05 n now he's injured everywhere.. Haiz.. let me tell u his injuries..

Firstly, e second day he went to tekong, he was hospitalised.. but dunno reason.. Then, within e week, he dislocated his shoulder 3 times on e same day! N e doc says he might haf to go for op.. Then juz yesterday, he told me he injured his back.. OMG.. Less than a mth in camp n see wad happen to him.. No wonder mindy say he'll be in artificial limbs when he finish NS.. I'm really worried abt his injuries, but he doesn't seem to care much abt them..

Haiz.. wad shld i do? or shld i say... Wad can i do? He said he wldn't see us gers w/o his hair, so until now, i dun even noe whether he books out on sat.. Aiyoyo... Can someone help me??!!

mid- yr's over!! (so r my results)

2005-07-04T14:29:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps!! Sorry for not updating my planet for sooooooooooo long.. Anyway, my mid-yr's over n i think my results oso gone le.. Cannot finish all my papers... Aargh!!! n geog? Haiz.. study until so hard, then suddenly mental block n there goes my physical part.. i think ms tang's gonna be very disappointed wif me cuz even i can't forgive myself... i dun even noe wad i was writing n i think they r all crap.. haiz.. think i can't even get o for geog le.. econs? oso die as usual.. CLA same fate.. i think i'll be skinned alive by mr ng if he sees my script.. All in all, onli 1 word.. DIE!!

Anyway, juz to let u all noe.. i'll always be ard if ANY of u all out there need a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on.. i noe my shoulder is small but it sure is sturdy.. haha.. ok, tt's abt it.. Oh, before i forget.. Pls write a testimonial on friendster for me if u r free.. Thx a lot!! =P

A busy week.. x_x

2005-05-10T11:44:00.000+08:00

Whew... Wad a busy week i had.. All of a sudden, all my tutors dumped a whole pile of tutorials n tests on top of e class.. We had to do 4 essay qns for Econs n 2 full sets of tutorial for geog (1 each from human n physical).. As if tt wasn't enough, we were supposed to take a test for CLA P2 on monday n e full topic on plate tectonics on friday... (holy sh*t it's friday e 13th!! ) As such, my weekend was kept real busy with tutorials n studying for test....

Luckily, i was able to 忙里偷闲.. I went to watch TJ's 绿园之夜 on friday evening n it was nice.. But e way they presented e 剧 was a bit abstract n e audienc had to do a bit of thinking to catch e show.. So it was quite tedious.. But i think they did really well n i really enjoyed myself.. Great job TJ!! Also, i met up wif poonie (finaly after 6 whole mths...) n mindy.. It was REALLY long since i last saw her... N she has grown prettier... (wear contacts le wor..) But... it was kind of spoilt cuz e meeting was supposed to let e 3 of us catch up with one another, n in e end, it became a group study... She was doing her maths tutorial, mindy studying for CLA( cuz we forgot to ask her to bring bks, haha..) n me? Doing econs essay lor.. Haiz.. Wad a saturday..

Anyway, econs more or less completed liao, n today, muz pia geog tutorials.. Haiz, no need to sleep again... Then, yesterday ah, e stupid relief tcher for CLA1 suddenly say today got test lor.. Win liao, he best man... Today take test, n conclusion?? Sure fail.. Imagine not finishing 1 20 m 长文缩短，1 6m 理解问答 n 3 造句... Cool rite?? Then somemore my Econs DRQ nv finish n GP was a whole lot of crap?? Haiz.. look like i'm going to fail my tests again.. Oh god... Mugg like siao still got this kind result... Really can die liao...

Ok... tt's all for today folks.. I'm going to think of e prettiest way to die le.. Cya ard in sch.. =P

re-hiz...

2005-04-25T16:12:00.000+08:00

Heyhey.... Finally, i'm back again... Afternesrly a mth... haha... I noe... U all miss me liao rite?? Hehe... Anyways, i'm back in A7B!!(eh.. did i say tt before??) ok nvm... I've got short-term memory... as u all noe... Ok, back to e topic... Yes, i'm settling down quite well wif e super kiasu kids.. So i oso pia-ing my way thru...(hope my efforts pay off n i get promoted this time...)

Btw... We like nv see each other for very very long le... Ok, i do see a handful now n then... But i really miss e crappy days we had together... U noe, e gossipy times wif yinghan n kim, n e very peaceful n "knowledgeful"(if there's such a word, in connie's corny planet of cuz!! haha!)days wif fang yu, e super lame n cold days wif weiwu n mr tan during history n of cuz, how can i forget my 老公 jiyu, my 情夫 zi han, n my beloved n cute lil daughter SERENE!!

Haiz... i really miss u all leh... btw, do u all noe i changed my hp number?? A lot of ppl feedback tt they nv received my msg even though i sent it to EVERYONE ( i swear...)　Anyway, for e benefit of those who dunno.... 98461411 tt's my new number.. So ez to rmb rite??

I noe u all very very bz la, but i free wad.... So feel free to call me when u need a listening ear or an urge to gossip...( now free incoming liao.. haha, finally upgraded...)

Okie.. tt's all for today folks.... byebye n cya soon...

what my name stands for

2005-03-27T14:11:00.000+08:00

CONNIE
C	is for	Complicated
O	is for	Outrageous
N	is for	Naughty
N	is for	Naughty
I	is for	Irresistible
E	is for	Extraordinary

PEIQI
P	is for	Popular
E	is for	Ebullient
I	is for	Important
Q	is for	Quixotic
I	is for	Important

What Does Your Name Mean?

2005-03-27T10:42:00.000+08:00

me, asam, xiao xue

2005-03-27T10:38:00.000+08:00

byg in e makin...

2005-03-27T10:24:00.000+08:00

my pretty friends!!

BYG 庆功宴 finally over!!!

2005-03-27T09:35:00.000+08:00

Whew! It was quite a success though in e end we had a lot of things to clear n da bao.... N e whole bucket bucket of chicken wings was dumped.... Haiz... So wasted right?? Nobody wanna take home ma... So they juz buanged... I had a lot of fun though....

Until......

I was leaving e beach u see... Wif my 2 other guy frens, lye yong n raymond( ppl at e beach, did u see them?).. We were at e bus stop n e bus was comin liao... Then, my bro msged, saying they(my parents n him) MIGHT be comin to e beach to take a walk.. N for heaven's sake, do u noe where we were? Pasir Ris park, n they, so gd? come all e way frm serangoon, on a rainy day to take a walk?? What a HAPPY FAMILY!!!

What's this?? I tell u, SPOT CHECK la... Can u imagine it? spot checking happening to me at 18! ok, turning 18... WTH!!! So, my frens left w/o me n i went back to e pits, most RELUCTANTLY for their HOLY arrival... Spoilt my night of fun instantly... N noe wad time they came? 10 sharp... SIANZ... But i didn't care... Made them wait until ard... 10+? or 11? i can't rmb.. to help tian tian pack up n clear all e rubbish... Then made them send Jie Yan, who lives in hougang, home.... N to cheryl, i'm sooooo SORRY.... I left u behind, forgetting tt u stayed in AMK... really sorry n pai sei...

Anyway, e night was fun, juz tt we didn't haf alcoholic drinks to celebrate.... jolly shandy is not counted!! it's only 0.05% of alcohol!! Kenneth they all brought, but for themselves actually... n LY didn't wanna help me buy!!! Ok la, i noe he 为我好 la... Gers shldn't really drink outside... haha.. ok... tt's abt it.. bye!!

Posting's Out

2005-03-22T10:03:00.000+08:00

Heyheyx.... Posting today come out liao... Though doesn't affect me directly, but still quite worried... Dunno wad kind of ppl i'll get for O2 n ct... Hope i dun get irritating ppl who like to show off ba... Cross my fingers... Ok, tt's all...

Yes, there's qing gong yan, but............ PAY　ＵＰ！！！！

2005-03-16T12:30:00.000+08:00

Ｉ　ｎｏｅ　ｗａｄ　ｕ　ｇｕｙｓ　ｒ　ｔｈｉｎｋｉｎ．．．　ＷＴＨ　ｒｉｔｅ？　Ｙａｙａ，　ｗｅ　ｗｏｒｋｅｄ　ｖｅｒｙ　ｖｅｒｙ　ｈａｒｄ　ｆｏｒ　ｅ　ｐａｓｔ　３　ｍｔｈｓ　ｆｒｍ　ｓｃｒｉｐｔ　ｗｒｉｔｉｎｇ　ｔｏ　ｅ　ＢＹＧ　ｉｔｓｅｌｆ，　ｂｕｔ　ｗａｄ　ｄｉｄ　ｗｅ　ｇｅｔ　ｉｎ　ｒｅｔｕｒｎ？？　Ｏｋ，　ｔｈｅｒｅ＇ｓ　ａｐｐｌａｕｓｅ　ｎ　ｃｈｅｅｒｓ，　ｂｕｔ　ｗａｄ　ａｂｔ　ｑｉｎｇ　ｇｏｎｇ　ｙａｎ？？Ｃａｎ　ｕ　ｂｅｌｉｅｖｅ　ｉｔ，　ｐｐｌ？？　Ｗｅ　ａｃｔｕａｌｌｙ　ｇｏｔ　ｔｏ　ｐａｙ　ｆｏｒ　ｉｔ　ｏｕｒｓｅｌｖｅｓ．．．．　ｗａｌａｕ．．．　ｏｋ，　ｆｏｒｇｅｔ　ｉｔ，　ｏｕｒ　ｔｃｈｅｒｓ　ｎｖ　ｒｅａｌｌｙ　ａｐｐｒｅｃｉａｔｅｄ　ｏｕｒ　ｅｆｆｏｒｔｓ　ａｎｙｗａｙ，　ｓｏ　ｗｅ　ｓｈｌｄ　ｈａｖｅ　ｂｅｅｎ　ｐｒｅｐａｒｅｄ．．．Ｎｖｍ，　ａｔ　ｌｅａｓｔ　ｗｅ＇ｖｅ　ｈａｄ　ｆｕｎ　ｎ　ｍａｄｅ　ｍａｎｙ　ｍａｎｙ　ｎｅｗ　ｆｒｅｎｓ．．．

Ｏｈ，　ｎ　ｗｅ　ｃｅｌｅｂｒａｔｅｄ　ｘｉａｏ　ｘｕｅ＇ｓ　ｂｉｒｔｈｄａｙ　ｏｎ　ｍｏｎｄａｙ　ａｔ　Ｓｅｎｔｏｓａ．．．　Ａｌｔｈｏｕｇｈ　ｔｈｅｒｅ＇ｓｏｎｌｙ　ｆｉｖｅ　ｏｆ　ｕｓ（ｋｅｎｎｅｔｈ，ｈｏｕ　ｓｈｕｎ，　ｗａｎ　ｔｅｎｇ，ｍｅ　ｎ　ｘｉａｏ　ｘｕｅ）, ｗｅ　ｈａｄ　ｆｕｎ．．．Ｈｏｐｅ　ｘｉａｏ　ｘｕｅ（ｘｕｅｙｉｎｇ）ｅｎｊｏｙｅｄ　ｈｅｒｓｅｌｆ　ａｓ　ｍｕｃｈ　ａｓ　ｉ　ｄｉｄ．．．

Ｗｅ＇ｒｅ　ｇｏｉｎｇ　ｆｏｒ　ｈｕａｎｇ　ｃｈｅｎｇ　ｔｍｌ　ｎ　ｉ　ｋｉｎｄ　ｏｆ　ｌｏｏｋ　ｆｏｒｗａｒｄ　ｔｏ　ｓｅｅｉｎｇ　ｔｈｅｉｒ　ｓｔａｎｄａｒｄｓ．．　Ｂｕｔ，　ｈｏｗ　ｄｏ　ｉ　ｇｅｔ　ｔｏ　ＶＴ？？　Ｉ＇ｍａ　ｒｏａｄ　ｉｄｉｏｔ，　ｓｏ　ｃａｎ　ａｎｙｏｎｅ　ｈｅｌｐ　ｍｅ？

Tonight's e night.... It's 白云岗!!!

2005-03-04T09:16:00.000+08:00

Heyheyx ppl.... So sorry... I noe it's been REALLY long since i last blogged.... I've been really busy wif my rehearsals for 白云岗 for e last 1 1/2 mths.... It's so tiring tt i fall aslp straight after i bathed... Y? Can u imagine being in sch for 14-15 hrs a day?? Tt's e kind of days i've had since CNY is over... My mum is also pissed wif me... She always said i treated e hse as a hotel n even asked me to bring my bed n belongings to camp in e sch since i liked it soooo much...... Haiz... Wad to do?? For e sake of BYG, i muz 坚持下去，坚持到底！！！加油吧！！

Wish me luck for my BYG today n tml nite ba... byebye...

BYG, the killer!!

2005-01-25T11:47:00.000+08:00

Hi, peeps... I like very long nv update liao la... So sorry... I've been staying back in sch almost everyday for our 白云岗 practices... It's like i only go home to slp, then e nxt day go sch again... Everyday oso shacked liao, then no time to do hw...

Also, i found out tt actually 主席 n hou shun can get super serious n super duper scary when they scold n get stressed... Our dear superman oso... He has very high expectaions of himself (we all noe tt), but also to those under him (this of cuz includes me la...) He has high expectations, but they r not unreasonable or unachievable... He is really very 细心 when it comes to 刁戏, n every action muz be very sharp... Which in a sense is a gd thing la...

I think we r oso very lucky, cuz our 演员s all very self-disciplined... Rmb we had to go for an urgent meeting wif 黄老师 on last Sat? Majority of other grps' actors started getting restless n slacking, but our actors actually 排 de 剧 on their own and finished e whole script!! After tt, we had another meeting (superman, yk n me) while asking them to rehearse a few parts which they were unclear abt... (This happened after 黄老师 came into e Lt to watch them) At first they were a bit reluctant, but they very fast 进入状况 n practised on their own... N let me tell u, they suddenly did super well n were super duper high n in e mood... This made e 3 of us feel very redundant n like we r e ones tt always got in their way n prevented them from finishing e 剧.

All in all, they really did very well tt day n i hope tt this spirit of theirs continues all e way even after BYG is over...

Anyway, i haven updated u all abt my j1 classmates rite?? They getting better liao... At least they noe how to 偷懒 now... And we r quite close... Tt's a gd thing isn't it?? We crap ard, slack n joke... Hey, dun think we only noe how to slack k, we oso got do hw n tutorials de... Very 乖 rite...

Ok, this is getting VERY long, so lets juz stop here.

O1's damn fun!!!

2005-01-11T01:30:00.000+08:00

hey there peeps... Sorry la, soooo long nv update.... Dunno wad to write la...
U ppl so lucky, get mr tan to be ct.... Haiz... Mr ng oso not bad la, but... aiya nvm..

Anyway, this is my 1st time attending O1 n its like damn fun lor... Although they were real nerdy n quiet on e 1st day, things got better n better... Esp for e quest... We're like one big family, so cool n enthu... We sang cannon, cheer n everything... so shuai!! Halon Rox sia!!

But...somehow or another, sian meng doesn't seem to be himself those few days la... As in a total different person once he's not wif rui jue n kenneth... Soooo quiet... Making himself look so anti-social... So our og gave him a nick name.... (Sian Ah Meng) Then jerry.... He's rather enthu, n i think he did a great job in bonding us together... (3 cheers for jerry) If u think tt's all abt him, u r wrong... Of cuz, he oso got nickname... n it's Auntie Jerry ER......... Y? cuz he a bit de loso lah, n e ER is his surname... Haha... Our og was like yelling tt at him at dismissal, so the whole of Nazgul OGLs noe it... haha... Then there's charmain n yee li... Charmuackz very enthu n fun, n Halon luvs u char!! As for yeeli.... Even though she's our ogl, we rarely see her ard... so not close at all...

Of cuz, not all e members r enthu... Yun xuan, kang wei n zheng yong r e quiet ones, not like cun zheng , jun hao n especially Jaime!! He's so lame... really the 一鸣惊人 n 语不惊人死不休 type... Seriously, i had a lot of fun n was very glad tt i turned up for e O1... Otherwise, i wldn't have known this bunch of ding dong kids........

However, 世事不能尽如人意。So, as much as i wanted to be in e same class wif all of them, we were all separated, but they either remained as twins or triplets... As far as i noe, only jaime n i r e isolated 2, cuz we're in total diff class frm them n is like a rojak class wiff odd combis... I took a glance at my classmates today, n guess wad?? They all have a nerdy n muggy look lor...
I think i'll be bored to death in e class... Then there's one tt's super show off lor... Really very 讨人厌！！！！Act as if he pro at everything, then keep asking stupin qn lor....

Anyways, all in all, Halon, OG4, RAWKZ!!!

Nazgul ROX!!!!!!

ZION ROCKS!!!

Ok, muz end here liao... I very tired le... muz zZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

x'mas comin!!!

2004-12-21T13:04:00.000+08:00

Hi everybody!!! Sorry for not updating my blog recently... My brother juz went for an op @ kk last week, so i've been shuffling btwn home n kk... Now he's back at home n is e emperor of e hse, he gets to watch tv, use e com n gameboy, everything he uses first... then, eat, slp n play all he likes n nobody stops him... Heaven for him n hell for e rest of us...

Anyway, x'mas is comin n i'm looking forward to it... We'll be going to kenneth's bbq on x'mas eve n 顺便 celebrate Noella's b'day... We're gonna have fun there, but oor kenneth, cuz he's doing everything n rejecting my offer to help... Well, i think i'll help juz by finishing the food n not浪费他的心血。Haha... Then, i'll be going for a feast wif mindy n poonie on x'mas itself... YAY!!

U all muz be thinmking how come i nv mention my parents rite? Tt's bcuz, they nv bothered to celebrate it wif me after 17 yrs of waiting... so i decided to pang seh them this yr... Anyway, my bro wun be able to go out until next june, so i'll be stuck at hm if i waited for them... Therefore, this yr i'm on my own... WOOHOOO!!!

Hope tt everyone kenneth invited will be there n we'll have a great x'mas eve!! Enjoy urselves everyone.... N Happy 17th Birthday to FANG YU!!! Ok, i noe, this is e 3rd time i'm wishing u, but.......... Who cares? haha...

Ok, it's getting lengthy, so i better end here...

@ kbox...

2004-12-16T09:35:00.000+08:00

Yea.... We were @ kbox yesterday frm 2 -7..... haha, There's me, xueshen, xueying, wan ting n kenneth.... We had a great time singing yesterday, but it's a pity time passed so quickly... Over there, we "ganged up" on xueshen... How? Juz dun listen to him lor... When he asks qn or talks, everybody juz keeps quiet... haha... N we played a trick on e kbox waiters n waitresses by putting lemon skin into one of the chips.... n tt's for revenge cuz we asked for e free flow chips n drinks n it came only after more than 1/2 hr... We almost died of thirst with all e singing n no water.... So, we took revenge... Another thing was tt we wanted to test if they wld give "untouched" chips collected frm one room to other customers... Wahaha... I certainly hope we can go out together again...

ans to fangyu's qns...

2004-11-18T11:30:00.000+08:00

1) 宇宙有止境吗？
1) 没有

２）婴儿的大脑是一片空白，等待教育他的人来填补这个空间，还是一个装满了所有知识，等待教育者来开发这些知识的盒子？
2) 我认为应该是后者。因为，科学证明了，宝宝在0-4岁的时候，记忆力是最好的。因此，他们的大脑绝不可能是一片空白，否则，他们如何一点就通？

３）梦想是什么？（具体的定义）
3) 它应该是一个你很想很想做的一件事，虽然不一定能实现，却也不妨一试。

４）梦想和现实，你会选择哪一个？
4) 我选择梦想，因为这个世界已经够现实了。

５）为了追求梦想，你可以放弃的最重要的东西是什么？
5) 爱情，如果（他）妨碍到我。

６）什么是真爱？
6) 当你找到一个爱你，你也爱的人吧。

７）爱情和亲情，你会选择哪一个？
7) 我会选择亲情。因为爱情没了，还能再找，但没了亲情，就再也找不回了。

８）爱情是一种感觉还是宿命？*注：宿命＝destiny
8) 没有爱情的人渴望它，追求它，有了爱情的人却不断寻求更美好`更浪漫的。。。因此，爱
情不是感觉也不是宿命，而是人生。。。

９）宗教的作用是什么？*注：‘作用’refers to how religion functions in an objective discussion, with no particular reference to any religion. By the way, it doesn't mean the purpose of religion. Dunno if you guys understand what I mean;)
9) 让知识分子参考其中的思想与奥秘，却也成为极端分子行凶的借口。

１０）你对自己还是对别人的要求比较高？为什么？
10) 别人。因为我希望他们做得比我更好，尤其是对朋友的要求哦。

１１）我是怎样的一个人？
11) 值得交往的好朋友。

１２）你喜欢／不喜欢我的程度到了哪里？
12) 心里的秘密都告诉你了。。。你说呢？

１３）我的优点是什么？
13) 有责任感，言出必行，坦诚，太多了。。。说也说不完！

１４）我的缺点是什么？
14) 人太好了，容易被利用。。但在男生眼里可能显得太强悍了，让他们觉得连个女孩也不如。二者也让他们觉得自卑。所以有时候还是小鸟依人点比较好。。。
１５）艺术的定义是什么？
15) 应该没有确切的定义吧。。。我认为，只要是用心去做，那做出来的成品就是艺术。

１６）男人和女人除了生理上的不同，最大的不同是什么？（请详细说明）
16) 女人所能承受的压力和忍受疼痛的程度是男人所不及的。此外，他们对各种事物的观点和想法都与女人有所出入，而且心思也不比女人细腻和敏锐。

１７）为什么社会重男轻女？
17) 习惯吧，大家还是无法忍受男主内，女主外的现象，因为这看起来还蛮怪的。想像男人在巴刹或是学校外三五成群地谈论他人的八卦你就知道了。。。

１８）他为什么已经有三天没有联络我了？
18) 都说男人不比女人的心思细了吧！他们比较不敏感，认为没有必要天天喝好朋友联络，情人嘛，另当别论！

１９）人的一生为什么难得知音？*注：Explained by my dictionary as 'a friend keenly appreciative of one's talents; bosom friend' - I would think of it more as 'soulmate', though not necessarily in the romantic sense. =)
19) 要找到一个知己已经不容易了，更何况人海茫茫，找起知音应该是难上加难吧。。。

２０）政治为什么会产生？
20) 因为大家都不相信自己的领导能力不如他人，而且都想当一人之下万人之上的强者。。。

２１）为什么布什又中选了？
21) 虽然美国人不是很喜欢他的作风，但是又不希望会有更大的改变，所以都选择了安于现状。。。

[Un] happy

2004-11-15T22:08:00.000+08:00

Wah... Very very long nv update liao... This few days have been VERY boring... My dad's working everyday (only today rest), my mum goes to e temple to help out (oso everyday), my bro 霸占 e com everyday... Frenz? Some work, some wif boyfriend, some dunno busy wif wad n some juz lost contact.... So i'm left alone to rot at home.... Haiz....

Finally, my dad today nv work, so we went out as a family for once, since.... 2 mths ago? anyway, my mum was pestered by this sales lady frm SK n was kind of forced to buy $ 588 worth of diamonds for herself, a platinium necklace wif a diamond pendant worth $120 for me, n two shirts for my bro n i... All was well until we were on e car(on our way home liao)... Dunno wad happen to my mum, she suddenly became very 急躁 n vented her frustrations on e 3 of us... We were all stunned n blur of cuz... so juz ignored her... She's still pissed now, so i better stop here...

Anyway, good luck to all out there, esp 04A7B! juz remember, 04A7B, U ROCK!!!

feelin blue

2004-10-27T01:30:00.000+08:00

Haiz.... My results are real good sia... No wonder my mum says i'm smart...

I got all O's and a C6 for gp (overall)... So, wad r e chances of me staying in e college? 99.8% ! Hooray? Wad abt promoting? Erm... very low chances, but doesn't mean no chances... So be prepared for the worst lor... Eh, dun worry, i not siao yet, but tt's wad i've been hearing frm Ms tan n another teacher...

Well, i seriously did study for my papers, esp hong lou, econs n SEA history... I showed improvements in econs, though not tt great lah...( F in midyear, now O) SEA history was 9/50 in midyear, now 20/50, but hong lou? It was really a killer... Maybe bcuz i nv vomit enough yuan wen in my answers n my way of answering is different from wad the teachers want ba... Haiz, i really yin gou li fan chuan...

i feel esp guilty for my lep paper 1 cuz its e first time in my entire 11 years of school life (including this year) that i got an F for chinese and my zuo wen li ti lor... Kaoz... My teachers would nv ever believe it man! Moreover, lin lao shi so super gd to us and spent so much time n effort teaching us n yet i can produce this kind of shit to her... really felt bad... But i think she muz have felt worse... Can u imagine ur efforts going down the rubbish chute, when u c e students giving u this kind of rubbish? I think i'll die vommitting blood...

The worse thing is tt she wun yell or scold us lor... i mean, if she come into the class n hong zha us, we'll feel so much better cuz we really deserved it... but, she's still so nice to us, making me feel even worse...

Anyway, i believe all the other 26 of u all sure can get promoted de... So u all jia you ba... Hope we will c each other again in sch next yr, though i noe chances r really really tiny... Even if i do retain, i think i'll switch to CLA n Geog instead le... At least i hope CLA will not kill me so darn badly as lep...

ok, i so tired now, bye bye... zzzZZzzzZZZ........

I'm back!!

2004-10-14T21:36:00.000+08:00

Yoohoo everybody..... After promos le, now going to take back results liao... Juz heard tt if we can't get promoted, our parents got to come n see e principal... Anyway, i can't really be bothered cuz if i really can't promote, i'm going to either poly or NIE, depending on how things go... Otherwise, i might juz go n teach at a kindergarten n forget abt schooling... Who noes?

Anyway, we've been busy wif e promos, n now e LEAP carnival n open hse n soon e dumb WR again... The OP's coming soon oso.. Haiz, how life sux in jc....

Another thing, I break wif e irritating guy liao... Couldn't stand him any longer... Can't imagine how much longer i'd haf to report wad i eat for my 3 meals n where or with who i take wif... Kaoz... Worse than military sch... At least they dun make u report everyday... Moreover, we dun really haf common topics to tok abt.. He's always toking abt his army days or his work, thinking its VERY interesting.. HAHA!!
N he's been trying to act like mind-reader.. Before i even start toking, he'll rattle on and on saying he's been thru our age, noe wad i'm thinking n is going thru, OH PLEASE!! Sometimes, i really feel like yelling at him n asking him since when he studied in jc n wad he noes abt life in jc man!

Anyway, now tt i'm no longer wif him, i suddenly feel relaxed n carefree all again... Nv had tt feeling since i was wif him... Always feeling stressed n easily frustrated... Finally i'm FREE n the same old crazy me again!! Woohoo!(Shall we celebrate together??) Nv knew BGR could be so irritating n stressful until u try it... Luckily i got nth to lose haha...

Ok, we're done toking abt him n tt shall be it for today!! Byebye...

untitled

2004-09-21T18:58:00.001+08:00

yoz... today, i have super long breaks as usual, cuz its a tuesday... n its always very draggy...

Anyway, i told my story wif fuwei to zihan n serene n jiyu cuz tt crazy little ger there gets all excited n started probing.... U guys should have seen her expressions n reactions..OMG!! So damn funny n ridiculous... Zhen bu kui shi CCS de...

Well, maybe its bcuz she's been cooped in a gers' sch for too long le... But... How come it doesn't happen to jiamin n fangyu? ok tt's not e point...

Nvm... Anyway, we cleared our gp essay le, but still terrorised by hwee hoon... Its soo darn near e promos n she still goes PWing everywher we go, asking us to do grp evaluation for some worhtless sources n making EVERYBODY meet to do a mindmap mr ng suggested etc... She SERIOUSLY has got no life n her whole dreadful life revolves ard pw, juz like kim's life revolving round hou shun n yinghan's round her BELOVED tautau....

Ok, this is e first time i'm toking or rather, shooting these 2 little gers in my blog, n i shall continue doing so to entertain myself n e rest, as long as there's sth abt them for me to say...

can i shoot tt blabbering mouth of zihan??!!

2004-09-20T23:15:00.000+08:00

Yoz ppl... we went for a play on last sat at marine parade library n it was rather interesting n quite worth e money after all... however, bcuz i took a cab down, it wasn't really tt worth it.. i was running late meeting houshun, so might as well juz take cab straight frm my hse.. in the end i reached there at 1:30 n houshun they all came onli ard 2:30... walau, really waste my $ man, $8 leh....

Anyway, after e play, fuwei came n we left together... somehow or another, we met zihan, jiyu, xiuwen, yi kheng, xueying n wan ting at e bus stop, so i introduced him to them lah... Then this stupid blabbermouth zihan started toking abt it so damn loud in e history class tt serene, irene n joanna who r non CCS members oso knew n they kept probing abt it...

I dun mean tt he is jian bu de ren or wad lah, but the others all nonchalant abt it y she got so many fan ying and actions? Wad made things worse was she was still toking abt it when mr kellet came in lor... i was damn ~~~, until someone suddenly mentioned *bubbletea who was someone serene liked n so i was somewhat saved...

Anyway, let's hope she wun say anything more or i'll really shoot her blabbermouth off...

Oso, i read abt weiwu n hou shun's blog at e library today n they were sooooo lame tt i laughed till my tears rolled... i look frward to ur entries again, haha....

On the whole, today's lessons are ok, juz tt i almost dozed off during econs... But i slept during Gp tutorial as usual... haha... N i juz finished my part of e gp essay not too long ago... but hou shun's part i didn't manage to help cuz i couldn't find enough research to support... Sorry, i feel a bit dui bu qi him cuz i said i'll help him de...

Ok, tt's all for today folks... i very tired liao... going to orh orh le...
BYEBYE!!

Time to update my blog again

2004-09-09T14:18:00.000+08:00

aiyo... sorry everybody... so long nv write liao... i've been slacking a lot n i'm dying liao... Promos r round e corner n i haven started on my revision... Think i fail for sure de.. even my common tests i've been failing even though i study... oso dunno y... esp for econs lor... Haiz... maybe bcuz i dunno how to apply ba... Nvm, we shall all buck up n we all jia you together ba... (actually, wad else can we do? rite?)

life's grey....

2004-08-22T22:50:00.000+08:00

grey.... Tt's wad i think my life is like... Haiz, my common test is a goner liao... i didn't haf time to study, n those tt i studied, i can't remember when i was doing e test... sure fail one....

Die lah... I can't ever seem to finish my outstanding assignments... I juz finished my econs essay, but still haf hong lou to do, shu ping n my history essay...I think i will hardly haf e determination to finish them, esp e stupid shu ping...

Seriously, i dun c e point of commenting abt a book esp when u dun intend to be a commenter of bks... i dun think anyone wld want to be in this line anyway...

"Crampy" ccs day after being yelled at by Fui Foon!

2004-08-18T19:34:00.000+08:00

We had ccs today n it was "crampy" for me.... I kept having cramps during e activity, so i missed out a lot of fun... I was having cramps on my toes n hou shun tried to help, but he yue bang yue mang.... He bent my toes wif e cramp instead of upwards against it n i almost cried... Luckily another guy came along to help instead... Otherwise, i think i'll be lame by now...

Our 1st part of e activity was kind of relaxing, but.... we had to lie down on e floor n put our cheeks on e floor while warming up... I think yinghan really very wu yuan wif e guo qing liang bcuz, everytime he came, she didn't go n vice versa...

Now, i'm gonna tok abt 'her' again.....

Guess wad? She yelled at me in e com lab in front of ~20 ppl!! She didn't do anything for e written report except e biblio, survey analysis n in text citation for me n pris part(very min, n was juz copy n paste into e body) Jiam was doing both intro n conclusion, so i sent her me n pris' part last nite, but she couldn't receive it... Tt's wad e meeting during pw was for, to finish e WR...
As pris n i had finished wif our parts n our editing, we did our own stuff.... Pris was doing her mail thingy n i was attaching my hist notes... 'She' was busy w/o a purpose as usual... Ya, n jiam realised she couldn't finish both, so she asked us if we could help, n so we did... However, we didn't noe how to do e rationale for task 1, so we sought help frm tt "forever busy wif something" fui foon... She came over wif a not so nice face (btw, her face looks horrendously ugly, which my frens n i found unexplainable) n started bending down to type... We tot it was rather xing ku for her height, so we asked her to type at her com instead... Then, she showed us her bu shuang face, n got us to do e rationale for choosing e topic.... Pris n i were discussing, when she interrupted, asking me to translate wad i had recorded (jiam's ideas were in chi n i didn't noe how to translate, so they asked me to pen it down accordingly)...
I tried to help her as much as possible n was toking to myself to c if e sentences i translated linked... I later repeated n asked for her opinion, but she didn't gif an answer.... So, i looked at her screen to c wad she was doing... I realised she misspelt 'chosen' for 'choosen' n so i pointed out to her in a very polite way....
This is wad i said,"I think u spelled an extra 'o' for chosen..."
Then she slammed e keyboard drawer, pushed e chair backward real hard n yelled at me so loud everyone in e com lab stared at me," U so clever u come n do lah!!"
Well, as everyone noes, i'm not someone to be trifled wif, esp when i'm yelled at for doing nth wrong, so of cuz i shouted back at her," Ni xian zai gen wo fa shen me huo? Ni yi wei zhi you ni you huo arh! Ni shen me dou mei you zuo dao lor!"
"Shen me jiao wo shen me dou mei you zuo dao?!" she RETORTED, packed her things n stomped off...

I was so angry n felt so wei qu for i was being fired at for no reason esp when i hao bu rong yi rushed out my part of e wr n edited pris' part as well... i mean, i completed my fen nei things liao lor.... So, i walked out too... Then i saw jiyu waiting for history lesson n i couldn't bear it any longer, so i toked to her... (very agitated of cuz) irin n xueying sensed something wrong so they came over too.... I was so angry n wei qu, i broke down... Then, mr tan came... I think he was quite shocked to c me so agitated n crying cuz i'm always bubbly n cheerful in his class... He suggested i go for a drink to cool down 1st then join in e lesson wif jiyu....

I felt better after toking it out, so i went up to e com lab to collect my things...
There, i saw jiam, pris, man n ying jing coming out n they told me tt fui foon was in there oso... I hesitated, then decided to go in... I saw her wif peiyu n she actually apologised, saying she bu shi gu yi fa wo pi qi but juz bao cuz she ren bu zhu..... I glanced at her n realised she had tearry n bloodshot eyes, meaning she was crying n complaining to others lor... Hugh! Juz as i expected! Make me look like huai ren again... Machiam i bully her... Not surprising if she had gone to complain to ms tan either... Anyway, her impression of me couldn't go any worse....
Anyway, since she had apologised, i apologised oso lor you bu hui tong...

In e end, jiam n pris completed e wr though it took longer than e pw lecture period n i suppose mr ng wouldn't mind as long as we handed it in....

PISSED!!!

2004-08-17T20:44:00.000+08:00

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I'm damned bloody pissed arh.... Ms yinghan n Ms Kimberly..... How could u all pang seh me juz now....

Anyway, noe wad?? Tt fui foon actually pushed all e written report to me, pris n jiam to do n she did NOTHING for e wr except survey analysis, supposedly annex too.... But we didn't c it at all.... Juz now, which was after econs, she asked me to modify pris's part of e report when pris said she modify according to 'her' instructions liao.... 'She' oso passed me a whole big stack of info n ask me to "read e info n modify pris's report" !!!!! Problem is, 'she' actually told pris 'she' modified liao n its ok le... Wad for make me do again...

Wad made me e most pissed? 'She actually say ask jiam to send me her intro n conclusion to let me modify n link all e parts together...

HALO!! Then wad abt herself?! 'She' no need to do lor?! Only did e survey analysis then tok abt she got "SOOOOOOOO" many things to do... Everything only noe how to claum credit... Find those bloody pieces of research only all write "FOUND BY FUI FOON" shit her lah..,.. find find find... make sure 'she' find a toilet bowl n flush herself down wif e pool of SHIT lah....

Tt fui foon oso asked me to modify mine by dumping another big stack of info to me... tt, i got nth to say cuz its my part mah.... (Boohooo)

Oh god....... Pls make her shit from her mouth n brain man.... Anyway her head looks like e toilet bowl n her mouth like her anus... Kaoz......

Btw, do u noe her reason for dumping all e work to us? 'She' actually said:" I go home very late today leh... I going back at 8 plus...(reason: CNNY)"
PLS lah.... She stay even nearer to e sch than me lor....
Seriously, i think e ppl in CNNY r blind n nutcases to choose her as e committee member lor... wad can she do except claiming credits?!

HAN n KIM ah..... SAVE ME BAH!!!!!

something's wrong wif me!!!!

2004-08-16T18:53:00.000+08:00

Ya, ya.... I noe i shld do hw, hand it in on time, blah blah blah.... I mean, who doesn't noe abt it?? BUT, somehow or another, i juz can't sit down n do my hw like a "guai bao bao".... Dunno wadz wrong wif me either... Yes, i noe promos r rnd e corner, but i JUZ CAN'T CONCENTRATE!!!! Can anyone HELP ME??? I want to do my hw, i have my schedule planned in sch, but i juz can't seem to do when i get home.... Rite now, i've got so much hw piling tt i dun even noe which to start... Lep, history.... I think econs is e only one tt i dun haf anything owing...(ms poh's juz too terrorising to get anyone start dragging her hw...)

Han, do u think its bcoz of him? I seriously think it is leh... I juz can't seem to get him out of my stupid brain... I noe i'm pure foolish, but i juz can't help it... Its been like AGES since we last talked... dun even get a chance to c him sometimes.... We always seem so gan ga even when we meet...

AIYA........ I dunno lah! so luan!!!!

my first time

2004-08-11T22:14:00.000+08:00

WooHoo!!! Finally, after 16 yrs of getting home before 10 when i go out wif my frenz, i got to stay out late... This time, it's really LATE!! I reached home at.... guess wad? 4 am! n my dad sent me home... Btw, i went for e countdown for national day on 8/8/04 wif lilian, yan fen, lai yong (n his frenz...), tai liang, raymond n fu wei...(n supposedly to be wif machi, mindy, wei ding n yong jun, but we decided to go separately after we met)
Though it was a pity we didn't get to c e concert, it was still fun... We walked a GREAT deal tt nite, n my blisters burst... so tai liang piggybagged me for a short distance back to shaw towers... After tt, we stayed in e maintenance office for ard 2 hrs before we proceeded to haf supper @ geylang...
Yah, i noe its not very nice for gers to go there esp late in e nite, but i wasn't doing anything immoral.... Besides there were both guys n gers mah... wadz e whole big deal???
Anyway, my dad's reaction was... "y go geylang? Dun u noe its a poultry farm?" but he didn't say much after tt... My mum, on e other hand, went ad telling ppl in e stupid temple tt i went geylang for supper n those UNCLES started giving me lectures on "y gers shldn't be there"
C'mon! its food paradise in geylang, n i mean EDIBLE food... Anyway, i intend to go n explore again in future... dunno when though, but most prob wif e same grp of ppl...
SSHHHH.... dun let others noe hor...

CCS sux today

2004-08-04T18:50:00.000+08:00

today ccs got e xin shu fa biao hui n after tt got discussion on e stupid ccs gathering... Aiyo, these ppl so ma fan... dun wan this dun wan tt... can't even decide which beach to go, bbq or pot luck... kaoz.... then which sat oso cannot decide... this coming sat is a gd time, or most of us think so... BUT, tt yinghan n kim say they cannot... aiyo... some more e stupid lian jie so ngiao, say go seoul garden say ex , then decided wad marina bay zhen fa huo hai xian kind of crappy place... n e time is soooooooo sucking lor... meet @ 5:30, eat @6 n dunno end wad time... btw, its next sat, 14/8, we got gp block test tt morning, n having hcl block test on e 21st lor.... nutcase sia... i tell u, my mum's gonna scream @ me lor... so late, somemore so far frm my hse.... HAIZ~

*~ LoN3liHoOd ~*

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finally i went for CCS

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sth wrong somewhere??

.::WhAt HuRtS tHe MoSt::.

I'm back... Frm Genting...

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ah ma's gone le..

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Promo results coming out.... Aargh...

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Promos over!!

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Poor Jun Yang!! (cursing n swearing kelvins' voters...)

Derrick's out of Superstar... ='(

Happy Birthday Singapore!!

Where r u??

tests r killers!!

results........ x_x

He's injured, but doesn't care much..

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A busy week.. x_x

re-hiz...

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BYG 庆功宴 finally over!!!

Posting's Out

Yes, there's qing gong yan, but............ PAY ＵＰ！！！！

Tonight's e night.... It's 白云岗!!!

~ LoN3liHoOd ~

我错了。。。又做错了。。。

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Yes, there's qing gong yan, but............ PAY　ＵＰ！！！！